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Date archive for: January 2013

Anything for the Stage

Last night at improv class I made a bold decision during one of the games. I dramatically flung myself to the ground and then proceeded to do an army crawl across the stage, motioning, “FOLLOW ME!” while yelling gibberish to my team members. Nobody joined me on the ground.

Also the stage is wooden, so now I have cuts all over my hands. My beautiful hands.

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Let’s Hope It’s Not Alive

I can’t be sure, but I strongly suspect the necklace I’m wearing today has become sentient. Let me explain. This morning I was debating whether or not to wear the silver necklace. I haven’t worn it for over a year, and that I even thought to wear it today was quite the peculiarity.

Anyway, I reached for the ziplog bag it usually rests in and was surprised to see that the ziplock was not closed. Rather the necklace was peaking out of the lock as though it already had its own plans this morning to exit. I didn’t think much of this at the time and put the necklace over my head.

I then walked over to a mirror to evaluate my ensemble selection for the day. Upon immediately deciding the necklace would not do, I reached to pull it over my head only to find that in the two steps between putting on the necklace and finding a mirror, the necklace had managed to entangle itself in my hair!

“I guess you get to stay on me today you devious necklace.” I said.

I then decided it wouldn’t be lady-like to have the necklace stuck in my hair, so I continued to attempt to disentangle it at the very least. Within seconds of declaring I would keep the necklace on, the necklace seemed to release my hair strands from its persuasive grasp and endear itself to me for being reasonable.

Now I sit here, content with my decision to wear this necklace today but slightly uneasy that the decision was not entirely mine.

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Crystal Ball: Scrapbooking

I don’t want to come out and say “I LOVE SCRAPBOOKING,” but I do feel like it’s appropriate to acknowledge scrapbooking as a legitimate art form that is going to be really influential in the coming decade.

You’re probably nodding your head energetically in agreement and whispering, “What of inspiration boards? What is your vision for how they will shape future generations?!”

Let us hope they play no role in shaping future generations. I only see chaos and despair when I look upon inspiration boards.

You see, once, in the fifth grade, I took a giant white poster board and taped it to my wall. The next day, I crafted the most beautiful glittery, purple grapes using only play-doh and glitter. It was truly stunning. Such craftsmanship from a 10 year old was unprecedented; the grapes and their stem were so masterfully shaped. I pasted the grapes to the white poster board, in the lower right hand corner. Every day I aspired to make something that could be glued next to the grapes, and every day I failed. I searched magazines for imagery that would make sense on the board. Nothing fit. Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, and years later I tore up that giant white poster board with nothing but the glittery play-doh grapes glued to it, because all it did was serve as a haunting reminder to 13-year-old-me that I peaked as an artist at the ripe age of 10.

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My Emotions are Headed to Upton Abbey

I was a little surprised by how affected I was by the Downton Abbey season 3 finale. I actually called Mummy this morning and shrieked, “Don’t bother watching that series Mummy! It will win your heart and then shatter it into pieces! It can only bring unhappiness!”

Fortunately a little Internet research helped explain why the writers did what they did. The Internet also helped me remember that the characters of Downton Abbey are fictional. So, you can’t control my emotions anymore, Downton Abbey. I’m rebuilding my emotional fortress so that never again will a television show so masterfully manipulate me into loving it. Never. Again.

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