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Date archive for: July 2014

Oh Yeah, Still Got It

The other day I was walking home, and two fellas waved me over. “Excuse me!” they said. “Me?” I asked turning towards them.
“Yes, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute,” one began, taking a bite of the pizza he was having.
“Do you need something?” I inquired, as though I could give him directions if he needed them, or maybe a local restaurant recommendation, but that was probably the extent of my services.
He seemed a little taken aback by my tone, but not enough to derail him from Plan A. “I was wondering if you would like to sit here and hang out with us,” he said, motioning to the chair next to him. He wasn’t completely sober, and his friend looked bemused.
I was delighted.
“Ohhhhh! Thank you!” I said, smiling brightly. “I have to meet my husband for dinner, but that is so nice of you! I can’t wait to tell him I still got it!” And I shimmied a little.
I also motioned subtly to my ring, as if to say, “Dummy.”
“Don’t tell your husband,” he said, shaking his head.
“I absolutely have to tell him. THANK YOU!” and I turned and skipped away. What a pleasant surprise.

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Military Strategy

Sometimes I wonder what kind of military leader I would be. And then a little fly will swoop by, and I will murder it on the 20 percent chance that it might decide to bite me. And as I’m washing its blood off my hands, I’ll mutter, “This wouldn’t have happened if you had kept the battle outdoors, on your own soil.”

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