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Found the FitBit Charger!

I found my FitBit charger! Here is how I found it: I was looking at the floor under my desk, and it was there, on the floor.

Here’s The Tale of the Missing FitBit Charger:

Once upon a time there was a FitBit and a Charger. They had a very special friendship. Every seven-to-ten days, they would come together, with Laptop, to power FitBit for the next seven-to-ten days.
Charger asked nothing of FitBit, only provided a connection that served as FitBit’s lifeblood.

Then one day FitBit went to Japan. Without Charger. Charger was devastated. “How could FitBit take Charger for granted?!” Charger thought. “I give and I give, every 5-7 days!” The more Charger thought about it, the more despondent he grew.

Finally, in a fit of despair, Charger flung itself off the desk where it normally resides, into the dark abyss.

The End.

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The Problem with the Digital Revolution

I’m sitting here, on an airplane, enraged.*

Apparently my music is inaccessible without internet, which is infuriating. While we (the public) were distracted with elections and wars, digital music providers have been quietly making us dependent on online streaming services. I am livid. When the masses learn about this, there will surely be outrage on an unprecedented scale.

Let me explain how this came to pass.
I have a phone with TWO music applications: ITunes and Amazon Music. I have purchased music through both of these programs, because I spend money on such luxuries. And I have played the songs I have purchased on my mobile device. Because that is what you do: you buy music and then listen to it. However, unbeknownst to me at the time, I was “streaming” the songs I had purchased. They were in my “library” but they were not actually on my device.

So now, I’m stuck listening on repeat to the only songs that I have downloaded to my device, which are: 4 songs from Glee, one Alicia Keys song, and one Pitbull song. These are all songs that happen to be stored on my phone because I use them as WAKEUP ALARMS. This means I already HATE the only songs that I have access to without the internet.

This lack of music is truly a creative shackle. How am I to work on my craft (fanciful writing) without sweet melodies inspiring me in the background?

*Editor’s note: I wrote this on the plane, and then waited until I landed, with strong internet access, to post it.

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A Fun Book Club Anecdote

Yesterday during book club, we were discussing Portnoy’s Complaint, by Philip Roth. The conversation topic was about the Jewish diaspora. I started thinking about my ancestors’ background, and how they felt in America. “Wait, this isn’t about you,” I thought to myself, “Focus on Jewish people. Geez.”

Then, seconds later, Alex pointed to me, and he said, “What about where your family is from? How is it for people from that country?” And that was so wonderful, because we were able to shift the conversation to me.

So, the moral of the story here is that good things come to those who wait.

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General Update: Fitness and the Future

A few important things have happened in the last hour:

  1. I purchased a new FitBit using credit card reward points.
    Context: I was an early adopter of the original FitBit, but after a while it became a burden because I had to charge it all the time. Also the early FitBit did not display the time, only dots. So it always appeared as those I was wearing a watch, when in fact I was wearing a step-tracker. When people would stop me and politely ask for the time, I had to tell them I did not know the time. They would look at my FitBit, decide it was a watch, and fancy me either super lazy or rude for not telling them the time. Upon seeing the movement of their eyes, I would have to explain, “This doesn’t tell me the time. It just tracks my steps. I’m at four dots.” This explanation solved nothing.
    The new FitBit I ordered shows the time. Progress.
  2. I fit into some pair of size 2 jeans. Sort of. I’m wearing them right now and want to take them off because they are tight and my belly is hanging out, and I hate jeans. WHAT IS THE POINT OF JEANS?
  3. I’m thinking all this talk about building bunkers is very interesting.
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Writing Reviews

I’m terrible at writing reviews, but does that stop me from writing them? Absolutely not. I Love Writing Reviews.

I select Excellent in anything I experienced, leave the things that didn’t apply to me blank, and then name names for the people who crossed my path and did right by me. These are quick. Everyone gets A marks in my books.

“But what if the place wasn’t awesome?” you might ask.

 

I give them excellent marks too! That’s why I’m terrible at reviews.

And that’s just some insight into how I operate.

Will I change my ways? No. Do I know what I’m doing is wrong? Eh, not really. Would I believe my own reviews and use them to make decisions? No, absolutely not.

Wait, no, there’s one exception. My movie reviews are pretty spot on.

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Webmastering

I volunteered to be a webmaster for my comedy group. This was absolute folly, because I don’t know anything about running a website (i.e. this here was my finest accomplishment), and, more importantly, it’s extra work.

The person who oversees our comedy group, however, is very kind and persistent, so I made the website. It actually looks so sleek; I can never do better.

Anyway yesterday I received a note that read, “What do you think about a ‘revamp’? I want to challenge us to do better.”

Unbelievable.

 

 

 

 

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