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Date archive for: October 2018

I don’t know what day it is

I know what day today is, it’s October 30, 2018, and it was the day to go in for the biopsy, or as we like to refer to it, the bibiop-sy.

But I didn’t look at the calendar to do an official day count. It has been a while!

When last we left, we waited to hear back on whether we have any viable embryos. We do! So that’s good! This month we did a “practice” cycle, also known as an ERA Biopsy Cycle in our case. I was taking estrace after my period, and then on 10/24 had a bloodwork and ultrasound appointment to make sure my uterine lining was more than 8mm. It was 12 or so mm, and I was cleared to start taking Progesterone in Oil every morning. The progesterone shot is the one that is inserted on your bum. David got up at 6:45am every morning to give me the shot. Then today was the bibiopsy, which was more painful than I thought it would be. They prep you for it and share that it’s as bad as a very strong period cramp. Since I’m lucky enough to not have period cramps, I found the one minute the doctor was in there quite painful. “I tried to warn you!” she said. Then she reassured me that was the most painful thing they would have to do moving forward. Relief!

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Day 50, Also considered day 15 maybe?

The remaining embryos are frozen, so I don’t know if they really count as day 15. We are waiting for PGS testing to find out the next steps. In the mean time, I’m participating in a clinical trial that currently requires that I take a pill three times a day, starting Wednesday, 10/10. I originally thought I would take one at 7am, another at 3pm, and then one at 11pm. This has proved challenging thus far because I’m out and about more sporadically than I realized. And last week was a busy work week, so a few days blended together.

We have had some friends ask us for status updates, and we don’t want to provide them. We lost more embryos than expected, and we both typically like to keep being upset to ourselves, so we’re being evasive.

In other news, this past Saturday did not go as planned. It rained in the morning, so the courts looked like this at 9am.

Rainy Day

Deciding that it was time I stopped mooching off of other people for their brooms and blower, I went over to Costco, which was right around the corner, to buy a broom. I wandered around for a while looking for some brooms until a gentleman in jeans and a sweatshirt asked me if I needed help. I asked about brooms, and he authoritatively said they had not carried brooms for two months. “Thanks, do you work here?” I wanted to reply, because he wasn’t wearing a badge or a walkie-talkie. Instead I just thanked him for his help. Then I bought a giant box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates, returned to my car, and ate my sadness.

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Day 42, Also considered day 7 – Some thoughts

Before the egg retrieval, the anesthesiologist needed to hook me up to an IV. They started with my left hand, my skin swelled, blood came out, and she said, “Oops.” Then she used my right hand, my skin swelled, blood came out, and she asked me if I bruise easily. Based on the way she asked it, I could tell she thought the answer was going to be yes. I told her I did not bruise easily. She put a gauze on my swollen right hand to stop the bleeding, told me the swelling would go down, and quickly left the room.

The pain from the retrieval subsided this week, and I was able to do some light exercise Thursday, and today I feel back to 100%. I also got my period today. But the bruises on my hands stuck around. So, when I lie down and prop my head on the back of one of my hands, I feel a sharp pain that serves as a reminder of the process so far.

We have also been watching the Kavanaugh confirmation process, and in the midst of the allegations, women have come forward and shared their personal stories online. These women undoubtedly have suffered sleepless nights trying to forget their pain, and then probably recently endured more sleepless nights wrestling with the decision to share something they have been trying to forget. My heart goes out to each one. I feel fortunate that my bruises are temporary, because you can’t sleep on bruises.

In other news, we lost 11 embryos. This is common, but it was still disappointing. The doctor said the 11 embryos have between 4-7 cells and they would monitor them for change or growth, but either was unlikely. The other cells have between 100 and 200 cells. When the embryos make it to the blastocyst phase, they biopsy them.

So now we just wait.

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Day 37, Also considered day 2, WHERE ARE THE EMBRYOS

We were supposed to get a call yesterday letting us know how many embryos we have, and we have not gotten that call yet. I finally had a bowel movement around 3am this morning, so that was good. And then again at 9am, so that was good too. And later this morning I left a friendly message inquiring about the embryos, and then I sent a friendly note via the online portal, but no response yet.

Thoughts in my head:
How many children do we have so far, and where are they!? Did any take!? I’m going mad! I don’t like my work in general, so distracting myself with work is extra upsetting. GAH.

Edit: I heard back! So far 17 have fertilized. We used ICSI, which is where they insert the sperm. We’ll hear back on day 5 about how many make it to day 5.

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Day 36, Sort of, Also considered Day 1

Yesterday was painful. My abdominal region hurt a lot, and I didn’t realize how much you needed your abs to get up, sit down, lie down. I had spent most of the day in my office chair, so the end of the day when I was moving around I had a greater appreciation for, you know, moving.

Last night I woke up around 1am from the pain, and then I read some things on the internet and fell back asleep around 2:30am. I think around 2:30am I also felt like the pain had subsided, which is good! The internet’s post-retrieval healing times are mixed, ranging from one day to a week. Our nurse and doctor said the pain would be there for a week.

I definitely feel a little better now than I did a few hours ago. I’m drinking warm water with lemon squeezed in. I have not had a bowel movement yet. “Gross!” you might be thinking to yourself. Well this is a medical diary! These things matter!

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