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Category: Movie Review

It’s all chaos.

We had a snow storm here over the weekend, and I spent it doing something I should probably not do. I spent it reading EVERY ARTICLE IN THE NEW YORK TIMES, WASHINGTON POST, REUTERS and then starting to read the New Yorker, but stopped on page 18 on a personal story by David Sedaris, because I didn’t know people living lives of comfort were still writing personal stories.

I should read it.

Admittedly, I did scour the contents of the issue for reporting on Russia, immigration, international gaffes, the shutdown or general bureaucratic negligence and found the headlines wanting. So the odds I pick up that issue again are 50/50.

Anyway, chaos ensues.

On a lighter note:

We saw Aquaman on Friday night, and I just love superhero movies so much. I love them so much. One conflict in the movie is that the people who live underwater think they are under attack from humans, because the humans keep dumping their garbage in the sea. I thought, “You know…that perception of attack is valid. Their feelings are valid.” And in the movie there is one scene where the ocean dwellers/Atlantis people spit back all the garbage onto land! I wish the sea really did that.

We also saw the Little Mermaid, and I have something very important to say about it. So thank goodness I have a platform to share this important thing I have to say:

A couple months ago I read that Keira Knightly said that she would not let her daughter watch certain Disney movies, because they sent the wrong message. Among the list, she thought the Little Mermaid was not appropriate for her daughter to see. Here is the quote from this piece.

Still, when it comes to The Little Mermaid, Knightley is a bit more conflicted but says she’s “keeping to it [the ban]”

“This is the one that I’m quite annoyed about because I really like the film, but The Little Mermaid. I mean, the songs are great but do not give your voice up for a man. Hello?!”

Well upon re-watching the movie, I think the message is actually:
Anyone that makes you give up your voice is a demon.

Ariel shouldn’t have given up her voice – EVERYONE KNOWS THAT. As a kid you know it, Flounder knows it, Ariel knows it. Eric doesn’t want to marry her because she does not have a voice. Disney does a good job of driving that point home: giving up your voice, especially if you can sing like an angel, is a mistake. And really, the talking point to explore with your children is constructs that would compel you to give up your voice, whether it’s a witch or societal norms that should change.

And of course, not signing a contract you have not read through in detail. That is bad. Kids, who probably can’t be contractually bound to most contracts, should learn that lesson at a young age too, just in case.

Anyway Keira Knightley, I’m a big fan of your work and hope you’ll reconsider…

Well. Now I feel silly for throwing shade at David Sedaris earlier in this post.

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The 2 Week Wait

Someone warned me this wait would be difficult, and it is. We have had a busy couple of days: a holiday party, I did some stand-up at an open mic, Christmas Eve with the family, and I watched THREE movies yesterday and spent time with my parents, in continued efforts to relax and enjoy things. But I’m constantly worried that I’m moving incorrectly or should not be bending over or sitting in the wrong position. I felt a sharp pain I had not felt before that immediately subsided yesterday at 9:30am, so I took to the internet boards and learned nothing.

Here are the three movies I watched:

The Princess Bride – This is David’s favorite movie of all time. I had fallen asleep on all previous attempts to watch it when we first started dating. This had nothing to do with the movie and rather was just a product of me balancing exercise, work, and a beau. The movie was GREAT. David resembles Inigo Montoya a little as well, so that was an added plus.
And I also present you with this: Mandy Patinkin’s favorite line from the movie:

On the Basis of Sex – We saw this movie in the theater with my mom. It was about Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and it was lovely. I had already seen the RBG Documentary, which was really well done. The biopic was also really well done. I only cried at the end, when something happens that I will not tell you. I was also emotional in the beginning when her husband gets his initial diagnosis.

The Incredibles 2 – We watched this movie at night. It was so lovely. It had all sorts of things I love: superheroes, an adorable baby, and a couple that works together professionally and of course to keep the family together. Also Bob Odenkirk and this character:


She’s good.

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Married out of my intellectual league.

Me: David, what’s the most powerful movie you’ve seen recently? One that really stuck with you?

David: Hmm, I’d have to say, Incendies.

Me: Oh…the French Canadian psychological thriller?

David: Yes, that one really stands out.

Me: Interesting, let’s move on.

David: Wait, what’s yours?

Me: It’s not important.

David: Let me guess, Neighbors 2?

Me: That was also a good movie. But no, I was thinking, Zootopia. That really resonated with me.

David: Mmhmm.

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The Last Witch Hunter and Vin Diesel’s Journal

I saw The Last Witch Hunter last night, and it reminded me of how awesome Vin Diesel is.

First, a movie review of The Last Witch Hunter:

The Last Witch Hunter is a movie about Vin Diesel, a cursed immortal man, who keeps the peace between humans and witches by acting as a watch dog. I don’t want to give anything away, so I’ll just say that it’s a phenomenal movie.

8 Flaming Swords

And now, a review of Vin Diesel’s website:

I ventured over to Vin Diesel’s website and was thrilled to see a link for Vin Diesel’s JOURNAL. I was like, “He keeps an online journal. Like me. That’s something Vin Diesel and I have in common. We are one and the same inside.” So I clicked on the link to the Journal, and it’s just a picture of him. I’ve made this image a clickable link to his website, so you can confirm for yourself.

Screen Capture
Screen Capture

There are two logical explanations for this lack of content in his Journal section.

Explanation 1:

He didn’t build the site. It’s a template of some sort, and the site creators dreamed of populating it, and then they ran out of creative juju.

Explanation 2:

He posted in his journal, a lot. He started every morning alone with a cup of fresh squeezed orange juice, a wheat toast with some butter, a keyboard and his thoughts. Vin wrote and wrote, sometimes for 10 minutes, sometimes for two hours. The amount of time didn’t matter: what mattered was that he wrote every day. And then one day, he read The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Specifically, he came upon this passage:

“He smiled understandingly-much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced–or seemed to face–the whole eternal world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey.”

Vin Diesel was so struck by the eloquent prose, the story, and the greatest encapsulation what it is to love and die alone. He yelled, “THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL HAS ALREADY BEEN WRITTEN!” and slammed down on the delete key with Vin Diesel force, and his journal was no more.

It’s probably Explanation 2. That’s okay, it frees him to focus on his acting.

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Rules of Book Club

The first rule of Book Club is: You talk about Book Club. You read; you are elite. People can’t see that by just looking at you, so you have to tell them. Drop it casually in conversation.

For example:

Not-in-book-club Person: I have gotten so many dates from OkCupid.
You: I am reading my book for book club.

The second rule of Book Club is: You talk about book club. People want what they cannot have, and what they cannot have is membership into book club. The only way to make them aware of this staggering hole in their lives is to flaunt your membership.

Third rule of Book Club: Someone makes an observation, shares a supporting passage, cites a third party source, the debate is over.

Fourth rule: Only 8 people to a meeting.

Fifth rule: One comment at a time, people.

Sixth rule: No shoes.

Seventh rule: Discussions will continue as long as the book has compelling topics.

Eighth and final rule: If this is your first book at Book Club, you have to impress everyone so that you are not voted off.

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Movie Review: Her

Her is about a divorcé who falls in love with his operating system. I would venture to guess it takes place some time between 1984 and 2029, as I believe it’s also part of the Terminator origin story.

This movie was really delightful. I give it eight ear buds.


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On The Hobbit 2: Desolation of Smaug

You know how all software developers became despondent after seeing The Social Network? They thought, “Why didn’t I build Facebook? I could have been a billionaire.” That’s how I felt after seeing The Hobbit 2. I thought, “Why wasn’t I born an elf? I could have been a skilled archer.”

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Movie Review: Side Effects

If you’re looking for a psychological thriller that confirms your suspicions about the mentally depressed, look no further than Side Effects, a movie that stars the haunting Rooney Mara and intriguing Jude Law. Because I don’t like movie reviews that give away too much, that’s all I can say here.

I give this movie 8 pills!

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Buying a Movie Ticket

When it comes to purchasing movie tickets online, I’m what you would call a kept woman. David takes care of all online movie ticket purchases for me. I haven’t had to use that wizardry in years. Well today I wanted to buy a movie ticket, and I went to the movie theater website. The website was so slow! Even as I type this, the second page on the site is loading. ANGELIKA FILM CENTER – I DUB THEE THE SLOWEST WEBSITE ON THE INTERNET. Are they hosting the actual movies on the site?

I frantically emailed David to ask what website he uses to buy tickets. Fandango! He replied. Of course! I should have remembered the charming ads with the talking paper bags.

Fandango did not disappoint. They have nailed this whole movie ticket buying process. All I had to do was enter in my email and credit card information. Then, this is the part that was most impressive: I was offered the opportunity to have the ticket sent to my cell phone to eliminate the need for swiping my credit card at the theater to print the tickets.  This was uplifting proof to me that the arc of the technical universe is long, but it bends toward efficiency.

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