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Month: May 2007

Stretching for Reflection

This morning I saw a small spider crawl into my work bag. Rather then empty out my bag and try to kill the thing, I decided to be merciful and let it stay there. I don’t know if it’s still in there, but now, I walk around, carrying my bag way out in front of me just in case the spider decides to crawl out. It’s rather ridiculous because I won’t even put stuff in the bag. I stumbled out of my car with a fairly empty bag in one hand held at a distance, and a sweater, some lunch, my wallet, and my keys all in my other hand. The spider has made me look like a fool.

I will set it free (kick it out of my bag) during my lunch break.

In more interesting news, I am feeling very patriotic and have posted an American flag in my cubicle. The flag has replaced the giant fish I posted earlier. Such news is completely blog-worthy because…because…okay I’m really low on material.

Sharing the news about my cubicle decor has taught me a lot about myself. Specifically, it has taught me how self-involved I am. It takes an impressively self-interested person to think other people would care to read such information.  Self-involved people are rare in this world, so let’s hope I never change.

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I have some good news and some bad news.  

The good news is that the conversation aid part is up!  More good news is that I will try to end each entry with a thought provoking reflection about the real world, as I promised in the first entry for this blog.  

The bad news is that I am strangely addicted to high school television dramas. I watch them and think, “Oh, so this is what the popular kids were going through all that time.  No wonder they could never finish their homework.”  

For those of you worried about how my cold is doing, rest assured that I am nursing myself back to good health.  I have been drinking plenty of fluids, and getting some rest.  I have also limited how much I speak so as to avoid straining my throat.   

Having a cold has, uh, taught me a lot about personal growth.  It’s important to overcome the obstacles that get in your way and not to let them overcome you.  

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I'm Shocked You've Never Heard of Me

Some very important events have transpired that I must share with you.

First off, I have a cold. Now usually, I would be really irritated to have a cold, but I’m using some super soft Kleenex that is making my nose-blowing experience rather pleasant. Sometimes, I hold the Kleenex up to my nose just to feel it against my skin.

In other news, we have a family reunion coming up. It is very important that I exude success and have something to brag about. As this site is my first project, it is imperative that it becomes a hit so that when my aunt asks, “What do you do?”

I can proudly say, “I’m the prodigy behind Surely you’ve heard of it. AWKWARD. A-W-K-W-A-R-D. No? You haven’t? I assure you, it’s big.”

“Oh, is that like that company google, where your cousin works?” she will respond.

“Exactly,” I will nod. I might even take it a step further, “I’m surprised you’ve heard of google and not imawkward.”

She will stare.

I will continue, “You know, it’s kind of refreshing to be around people who have no idea how big I am.”

At this point my mom will probably find me and drag me away before I further embarass my immediate family.

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I Give this Site Two Thumbs Up!

Great news! I have added a testimonials section to

The inspiration for the testimonials came to me one day, when I was thinking about how to improve the content on this site. I thought, “What better testament to how great the site is than words from the users themselves?!” 

Immediately thereafter, I imagined what users would say if they saw this site, and added those quotes to the Testimonials page.  I know what you’re thinking: “Um.  You made up all of the quotes on the testimonials page? …Well, they were totally realistic! Well done!”  Thank you. 

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Looking Ahead

Last night I saw Demetri Martin on the Daily Show. He was totally delightful! I innocently thought, “I should marry him.”But then I got ahead of myself, thinking, “Well, he would have to get a haircut before he meets my parents…and what if he’s not funny in real life? What if he’s so dedicated to creating humorous presentations that he’s actually serious at all other times? Surely I would be disappointed if we were dating and he was constantly ‘shushing’ me because he needed to focus on his work. And our kids might turn out ugly. That would be tragic. There is nothing sadder than an ugly child. Would they be able to embrace humor as a defense mechanism as I have? Or would they be miserable because their parents were always making jokes? Oh Demetri!”Okay, I just did a google search for him and found his personal page. I learned that I was spelling his name wrong – so I have gone through this entry and done a find and replace from Dmitri to Demetri. Also, after reviewing his site, I’m having trouble deciding whether he’s extremely brilliant or a complete idiot. Let’s hope, for the sake of our progeny, it’s the former.

In more important news, this site is making some impressive strides towards completion. There is now an apparel section. I have also solicited my internet friends for awkward moment stories. I asked my laser tag team if they had any good awkward moment stories, but they all said, “Noooo, not really.” Clearly, they are liars.

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