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Month: April 2018

Gah

I do not like the nurse that calls to tell me I’m not pregnant. Joan. I don’t blame her for the news, but I do blame her for her delivery.

Next time I’m going to react differently. This time I knew, so I was understanding, but I had follow-up questions about next steps, and Joan seemed surprised by that, which was also annoying. I felt asking those questions was logical. But next time, I’m going to be really crazy. The conversation will go like this:

Joan: I have some bad news.

Me: What is it?

Joan: It was negative.

Me: What was negative?

Joan: The blood test.

Me: What does that mean for me?

Joan: You are not pregnant.

Me: How would a blood test prove that?

Joan: ….

Me: Joan are you there?

Joan: (heavy sigh) I’m sorry this must be difficult. (who knows if she would have the wherewithal to even say this)

Me: Joan what are you trying to say?

Joan: You are not pregnant.

Me: Thank you for sharing your opinion. What did the real doctor have to say about this?

Joan: The doctor says we should try again next cycle.

Me: So you’re saying the doctor shares your theory about blood tests.

Joan: ….

Me: Joan, how do I know…you are not making this up? What if I have the baby, and you take it away?

Me: Joan where is my blood right now? I want it back.

Me: JOAN.

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