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Category: Uncategorized

Polyhydramnios and LGA

I have a condition. Or, we have a condition? The first is called polyhydramnios, and when they first started listing it, I thought it was pretty common, but apparently it’s only 1 out of 100 pregnancies or so. The second is LGA, which means the baby is larger than average.

Something I’m running into though is that when the doctors talk to me, they’re pretty calm. But then when I read the notes, it seems _not_ as good. For example last week I had moderate polyhydramnios, and I just looked at the notes from yesterday, and it’s SEVERE polyhydramnios now! No one mentioned I had been upgraded.

I’m also doing this thing where I’m making plans that are going to be physically challenging to keep, because I figure that I’ll just go into labor beforehand and not have to follow through. But so far I’ve had to follow through on everything, and that’s on me, I know.

Also I’m really physically tired. However, I’m so committed to watching Twitter implode that I can’t sleep. I just need to scroll. BUT I JUST READ THAT IF YOU GET LESS THAN SIX HOURS OF SLEEP YOUR LABOR IS LONGER AND MORE LIKELY TO RESULT IN A C-SECTION. There is no winning here! What happens is I go to bed around midnight, get up around 2am to use the restroom, doom-scroll or read, and then my perfect *knock on wood* daughter wakes up in the middle of the night and insists one of us sleeps with her, and I’m happy to oblige.

Anyway, hoping we go into labor soon so I can renege on our social commitments. But also I should probably stare at my closet and figure out some clothes that will fit this weekend, because this kid seems super comfortable.

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You May Exit the Premises

I am ready for this baby to come into the world. On Friday I thought it was going to be time. I felt strong contractions and I was wildly productive and emotional: did laundry, hugged first-born, packed go-bag with first-born, washed dishes, went to toy store with first-born, washed car seat covers, scheduled and got a haircut, and then the contractions stopped, and I ate some chocolate (ie. returned to my normal ways).

I thought Friday was the big day because in the morning my mucus plug came out. But apparently that can come out weeks before. I’ve had contractions for over a month. Apparently that’s common with my condition, which is a big baby and lots of amniotic fluid.

Also he needs to safely exit because I am a very anxious person, and the longer he stays, and the bigger he gets, the more opportunities I have to research complications, and that’s not good for anybody!

And I fell a week and a half ago. Did I tell you about this? My shopping cart was rolling away in the parking lot, and I thought, “Oh no! The cart will hit a car!” and I chased it, and I fell over because I haven’t run in months, and I landed on my hands, knees, and stomach, and the cart probably hit a car, but I didn’t care anymore when I hit the ground. I popped up because I didn’t want a car to drive over me, and then I called the OB and she said I should go to Labor and Delivery for monitoring. Everything was fine, but that was a jarring experience, and it made me feel super dumb. A SHOPPING CART! Most of the scratches and bruises have healed. But I still feel embarrassed about this lapse in judgment.

I also feel like the luckiest mom in the world to have our daughter. At Labor and Delivery they asked if I have a will, and that made me think about how I don’t have a way to let my daughter know how much she was loved as she got older. I just hope David hands her my phone and shows her the thousands of photos and videos when she’s older. Preferably it’s my phone and not just his, because I think the photos I keep on my phone are more flattering depictions of us.

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I am measuring 47 cm, which means I am measuring 47 weeks pregnant, which I didn’t know was possible. I am 37 weeks pregnant.

At some pointed I wanted to do maternity photos, but I think I’m now too big for them. The size of my stomach is perhaps too distracting for a reasonable photo. Also David found out they can run $400, and he pulled out his phone and said he would take family maternity photos.

One of my dear friends said, “You look past pregnant. You look like you’re a parody of a pregnant woman – someone who has stuffed a watermelon under her shirt and strapped it in.” She’s correct.

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Hate Passwords

I am so bad at remembering passwords. I know there are applications that can help store your passwords, but I don’t believe I will be able to remember the password to that application either.

I’m also bad at cleaning up/decluttering.

And I’m always late. Even my period would be a couple days late every cycle. My mind and body collaborate to ensure I’m late. I’ve convinced myself that if I were to show up on time to something, friends and family would worry. I now have to be late to keep up appearances.

Cooking. Cooking is just not my forte. I’ve figured out boxed Mac and Cheese, out of necessity, I can bake cookies, but always at 4x the estimated recipe time, and I can boil an egg or make a messy omelet (omelette?), but that’s about it.

I’m not entirely clear on how to chop an onion. Like I did it a couple days ago under my mom’s direction, but I’m not sure I would be able to do it on my own.

I don’t floss. I do it once in a while. It’s just the mirror is not easy for me to see when my glasses are off, and I don’t want to floss with my glasses on, because I think my glasses are usually off right after I wash my face. And if we’re being honest, even when I could see the mirror, I would not floss every day.

I don’t wear deodorant when I’m pregnant, so there’s that.

Oh no, I’ve been drinking 1/8 cups of coffee every few days during pregnancy because I cannot resist, and I just read on Instagram that drinking coffee during pregnancy makes your kid shorter. Eek!

I’m definitely a hoarder.

I don’t finish reading every book I start reading. It’s worse than that. I have a few books on display I haven’t actually read yet.

I don’t bring a lot to the table. But I love hard. I love the people in my life so much.

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Do You Remember the Time

I started laughing today thinking about a moment on our honeymoon.

We were in northern Spain, and we had a small rental car that we had somehow driven off-road following the navigator directions.

We were at the top of a beautiful mountain. The view was stunning. The trees all around were lush with green leaves. The small rental car was stuck and the path was narrow.

I told David, “If we die today, it would be okay, because I have never been happier.”

And David replied, “Shut up. No. Ugh. You are not being helpful.”

I don’t remember how David got us out of there, but I’m glad he did. And I’ll never be so ridiculous again, especially now that we have additional responsibilities we care deeply about.

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Admittedly, I’m Pretty Big

Things I hear a lot:

“Let me guess, twins?”

“Looks like twins!”

“When are you due? REALLY? Six MORE weeks?”

“Are you sure it’s not twins?”

“As, um, beautiful as you look, we have been so impressed by your ability to move around all weekend.”

“Are you going to be able to make it through the weekend?”

“I saw you turn around and thought ‘WHOA, SHE’S VERY BIG’.”

And admittedly, I am pretty big. I am measuring on the high end of the safe range, and when I look at pictures of other people at a similar point in their pregnancy, they always reveal they are pregnant with twins.

I don’t think it’s twins. I haven’t been to a doctor yet, so I can’t say for sure, but I’m pretty sure it’s just one kid.

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Phone Banking

I’m phone banking today for Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense. It’s my first time.

I just reviewed the tips, and tip #1 is to smile when you are talking.

The script says, “Our country is reeling from the recent tragedies and the 110 Americans taken from us every day because of our gun violence epidemic.”

So I won’t smile when saying that sentence. I will smile if they agree to be connected to their senator. This is me putting my own little touch on the guidance.

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I Want to Do Everything I Want

My daughter has started saying “I want to do everything I want,” when she knows it’s time to go home or get ready for bed time. She says it really calmly. I love it.

The first time she said it was Wednesday May 4, while playing in the basement. We had been lightly tossing a deflated football, and then she wanted to ride her rocking horse, and then she wanted to chase David’s old remote control car.

The second time she said it was on the playground, Thursday. It was the next day. It was late, but she wanted she wanted to go down a big slide and then swing before we went home for dinner. David said, “I make the decision,” and she replied, “No, I make the decision.” Then she repeated, at the top of the slide, “I make the decision.”

Even though what she wants has not been aligned with what I want (her to go to bed sooner), I want her to do everything she wants. I want her to make a plan. I want her to make decisions. I want her to be able to follow through on her vision. And as an adult watching people work really hard to take away women’s rights, I don’t really know what to do right now.

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I Didn’t Get the Wordl

I didn’t get the Wordl today, and I was really upset. At some point I had tied a great proportion of my self worth to my magnificent Wordl streak. That was a mistake.

Today at 12:38am, everyone was asleep, and I sat in the dark on the couch, staring at my failure.

I tried to do mantras. “I am a person. I have a lot of things going for me.” But they felt forced. I didn’t believe them. I didn’t go back to sleep until 2am.

I also reached out to my support network. Transparency is better than walking around with this shameful secret. So now you know too.

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Gormeh Sabzi

I love Gormeh Sabzi. It’s a Persian stew, and my favorite version of it is the one my dad makes. My dad is alive, knock on wood?, but he cannot speak or move because of a hemorrhagic stroke, so I have no way to really get the recipe from him directly. I meant to write down or get a copy of his recipe, but I didn’t, in time. And I think my siblings accidently misplaced it while cleaning out his office area.

At some point during the pandemic, I started ordering the dish as takeout from our local Persian restaurant. I found it delicious and wildly comforting.

And a few weeks ago, I got it in my head that I wanted to make it. I do not cook. David does all the cooking. I can fumble my way through cookie recipes, but that’s about it. I bought an Instant Pot as part of a Black Friday deal in 2020. I figured January 2022 was as good a time as any to open it and use it.

But then there was a food supply shortage a few weeks ago, and there was no fresh parsley or cilantro available at the grocery store. So I could not make it.

Then on Friday, we went to the grocery store, and the shelf was full of parsley and cilantro. The greens called to me like a Persian, cooking siren song. I bought them and green onions and two yellow onions and red beans. I did not buy meat, because I figured I could make it vegetarian. More on that later.

I read and watched the Instant Pot recipe post. I aspired to clean the greens on my own, but did not know what to do. So I went over to my parents’ house, and my mom helped me. During the cutting, she lectured me on how long cleaning fresh greens takes, and that you can only use fresh greens if you have absolutely nothing better to do, because it takes so much time. We put the greens through the Cuisinart, a cooking device that we received as a wedding gift in 2011, that I also used for first time yesterday. Then I went to pick up my daughter and bring her back to my mom’s house.

At some point, my mom asked my dad if it was okay I was making the Gormeh Sabzi without meat, and he said, “No, it has to have meat.” It’s the only sentence he has said to me in three months. My mom had some frozen beef she had recently prepared for another stew she had been planning to make, so she gave it to me.

This morning, cooking morning, I opened up the Instant Pot and read the setup manual, after watching a 3-minute YouTube video where three children set up an Instant Pot to demonstrate how ridiculously easy it is to set up. I started the process and after 15 minutes decided to not use the Instant Pot, because it’s actually not straightforward at all.

So then I turned to YouTube for non Instant Pot recipes for Gormeh Sabzi. I found two versions. I watched both of these videos and decided to use a mix of elements of both, using the ingredients from the Instant Pot recipe from my original vision.

One is Tara Radcliffe, who I had not heard of before:

The other was this woman I have also not heard of before, but her video was under 3 minutes long, which I liked:

In case you are wondering what I look like, the second woman is what I would look like if I was trying to look like Tara. But instead of looking calm and cool in the kitchen, picture a consistent expression of panic and general confusion.

I ended up just putting all the ingredients into a giant pot. Then it smelled terrible. I called my mom, and she told me that was okay, and the smell would go away.

I was really upset I had messed up the dish, so I took out a jar of Nutella and just started eating it with a spoon.

The stew has been cooking for the last four hours. Hopefully it comes out okay. I have to ask David to make the Persian rice.

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