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Date archive for: March 2019

Second Part

Hi!

I’m in the second trimester now – 15 weeks! Here’s something neat I learned: second trimester is defined slightly differently depending on the person you are communicating with. Our doctor puts it at 14 weeks. That’s because they can keep administering certain tests and making decisions if need be up until that point. Online they say it’s at 13 weeks. Interesting, yes?

Since I have been lucky enough to not have any symptoms, barring my period not showing up, I completely understand the people who say, “I didn’t know I was pregnant.” But if you want to be pregnant, the lack of symptoms are jarring. I’m constantly wondering if the little baby is still in there. My bowel movements have been on point, but they’ve been on point since I started the estradiol months ago, so I can’t count that as a symptom. I’m a bit emotional at times, for example yesterday I started tearing up watching New Zealanders do the Haka dance in support of the mosque victims, but I think I might have felt deeply moved by that anyway.

There is one symptom I have that I thought I wanted. The ladies have gotten bigger. I’ve always been humbled by my modest offerings, and I was over the moon in 2001 when Shakira’s Whenever, Wherever came out with the lyric:

“Lucky that my breasts are small and humble
So you don’t confuse them with mountains”

I loved these lyrics! They spoke to me!

But now that I am bigger, not even that much bigger mind you, they are a total nuisance. When I pass a mirror I have to remind myself that “my eyes are up here.” When I cross my arms over my chest, they sort of get in the way. I had free range before. They hurt sometimes. OH, ALSO, THERE ARE GROWTHS ON THEM. WTF.

I’m also wildly confused about weight gain. I wasn’t sure whether I should be or not be gaining. And I am not certain if I have a bump or a perpetual food baby. I had food babies before, and this baby looks like the food babies that preceded her. I honestly thought I had a bump two weeks ago, but when the doctor checked for heartbeat, she put that device somewhere far from my “bump” and I was like, “Uh…so that’s where the baby is right now? WHAT IS THIS BELLY I HAVE?” The doctor just shrugged and said, “She’s down here right now.”

Also my friend asked me if I had any cravings, and I said no, and then I ate half a pint of Phish Food ice cream. But that’s something I would do – and have done – under regular circumstances.

Last night I watched Amy Schumer’s special, in which she is pregnant. It’s time I wrote some jokes and got on stage. I cannot miss this opportunity!

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Fallen Ill

Hello my beloved blog, I have terrible news. I’ve fallen ill.

Here’s what happened:

The first trimester went quite smoothly, with me showing so few symptoms that I was worried that something was amiss. People would ask, “How are you feeling?” and I would reply, embarrassed, “I don’t feel much,” and they would say, “You are so lucky.” I did sleep eight or more hours a night, which is a big deal for me.

Then while watching the Grammy Awards, I learned that Cardi B wrote and put out her Grammy award winning album when she found out she was pregnant. I’m no Cardi B, but I thought I could at least direct a short and perform in a comedy show before most people knew I was pregnant. And this plan was good in theory, but it also meant that I would be around more people than normal, meaning I would also be around more people that might have the flu. And sure enough, I heard people coughing during rehearsal, and I saw on Facebook that our tech operator had a fever.

“Just a cold I’m getting over,” the coughers assured me. I didn’t even talk to the tech operator. And since my body is changing, I was having trouble sleeping.

Well after a stellar performance Saturday night, potentially one of my last for a while, which a lot of wonderful friends attended thanks to Ian, we all went to a crowded bar. I started to dry heave, so we left after an hour and half, and came home to eat pizza. Well by Sunday I had a 102.5 fever! This resulted in a vigorous and panicked internet search and what this means for our little one. We called the ob-gyn, and the on-call doctor said to take a Tylenol and go to the general practitioner in the morning if it kept up.

Monday morning we went to urgent care, and they gave me a test for flu and strep. I was negative for strep, Flu A and B, and he said the tests aren’t 100% conclusive, so he prescribed tamiflu, and asked that I run it by the ob-gyn as well. I called them, and they said that tamiflu is safe for pregnancy. So then I took a tamiflu and vomited within 10 minutes of one tablet. I believe that was my body’s way of saying, “No.”

Side effects of tamiflu are nausea, vomiting, dizziness, and hallucinations. These side effects are exponentially worse than what I was experiencing. Anyway then my mom came by and brought me cooked turnips, which taste foul, but they seemed to help. David and I decided yesterday that I would not keep taking tamiflu, and my temperature dropped too 100 last night before bed and this morning was at 99! Yay!

Today I have a sore throat and phlegm, but I believe that is progress. Tomorrow the ob-gyn will hopefully check on our little one to let me know she’s okay.

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