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Category archive for: Social Life

Week 31 (Looking back)

We’re on Week 33 now, but this post is about what I did in Week 31.

On Tuesday I had my follow-up with the nutritionist to see how the GD was going. She did not look like how I think a nutritionist should look, and she advised me against eating salads. I told her about how the insurance company could not send me a blood testing kit for 8 days, and the strips that came with their provided OneTest had sold out. I also shared how ridiculous it was that there were so many unique brands for the testing kits and how my insurance company asked that I research devices and select the one I wanted while on the phone with them. I also lamented about the state of the healthcare system, she said, “How do you think I feel? I hear about this all day!”
I wanted to say, “Um, excuse me, this is my time.” Anyway she looked at my chart and sent me on my way.

On Wednesday I had the follow-up with my ob-gyn, who chastised me for using the Ketosis strips. She shared that the office believes in evidence-based medicine, and urine does not provide real evidence, hence why they never collect a urine sample from me. Then she told me I shouldn’t beat myself up for eating cookies once in a while.

So something I did not understand about gestational diabetes that I needed spelled out: I have not harmed the kiddo. I’m the one with the diabetes right now. The harm would be if I kept eating sugars and having high blood sugar and the kiddo got too big. So I can eat treats – I’m only hurting myself. This was something that took me a while to understand.

Anyway then we went to New York. On Friday night my friends ordered dessert that I could not partake in because I wanted to save my treat count for a meal later in the weekend. David whispered, “This must be very hard for you,” as they all raved that this was the best dish of the meal, and I declined to eat it. I almost cried. I love dessert. Of course it was the best part of the meal, I thought. DESSERT IS ALWAYS THE BEST PART OF THE MEAL. I held it together though, and after that decided to indulge a little. I can control the blood sugar with walking, so there’s not much reason to hold back. Also I might hate those friends now.

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Week 30

This is the start of Week 30.

I failed the second test too, so I have gestational diabetes. The next step is to set up an appointment with an nutritionist who can walk me through what I’m supposed to eat and not eat. I’m supposed to cut down on carbs, but I don’t really eat a lot of carbs to begin with, so I’m not sure how this is going to work. I’m not looking forward to the pin pricks. I spent most of last year and the beginning of the pregnancy either getting blood draws or daily injections, so the thought of more needles is upsetting, but I’ll do anything to make sure she’s healthy, so more needles it is.

This does put a damper on my food plans. I have brunch buffet reservations on Sunday, and I’ve gone ahead and cancelled birthday meals this week. I’ve also started a food journal tracking what I eat. Since I haven’t had a nutritionist appointment yet, I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to be doing. And I’m confused by the sample meal plans I’ve seen online so far, because I don’t see ice cream listed on there. What time of day am I supposed to eat ice cream, and how much of it can I eat? These are questions I’ll have for the nutritionist. Also I’m worried I’m not smart enough to understand how to monitor blood glucose levels.

We started cleaning over the weekend. I threw out a lot, but there’s still more to go. I had 2004 romantic hit _The Notebook_ on in the background, so I was also crying profusely while cleaning. It was very good for my sinuses. That movie is even more amazing the second time when you understand why Duke is reading to her. And if you are full of hormones, it’s even more powerful.

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Week 29

I did not pass that gestational diabetes test. I got a 150, and the number they’re looking for is under 130. 190 means you definitely have it, and I didn’t get 190, so I’m back at the doctor’s office for the next round of gestational diabetes testing. My vision is super blurry after drinking that ridiculous concoction, so I’m guessing my body is not processing sugars the way it’s supposed to.

This is a setback, because I’ve been worried this entire pregnancy (such is my way), and now I have something concrete to worry about.

Anyway, I’m sitting at the doctor’s office, waiting for my third blood draw of the morning. The first draw was a baseline draw, the second was done an hour after drinking a stronger fluid.

When I came in, there was another woman in the room who is also doing the three hour test and waiting for her blood draws. Her partner/husband was in the room, and they said they needed the other chair for a patient, so he got up to leave. They told me I could change the channel if I wanted to. The TV was tuned to CSPAN, so I said that was fine. I was interested in their coverage of last night’s debate. The people who host this show are saints, because the people who call in are nuts. For some reason a bunch of Republicans called to weigh in on their opinions on the best Democrat. Then when asked if they would vote for any one other than Trump, they said No, absolutely not. One person claimed he was a Democrat for the past 50 years, and then he started talking about how gays are ruining the sanctity of marriage, so he’s registering as a Republican. One guy called in and complained that he was always being blocked, because he’s a Republican. I don’t understand who these people that call in are. Are they real people?

Anyway, the pregnant woman I’m sharing the room with asked to change the channel at some point. I handed her the remote, and she chose the Home Shopping Network. She was about to leave the room to get her blood drawn and I think I gave her a look and she went and sat back down and picked a different channel.

She has now chosen Nickolodeon and is watching what appears to be Paw Patrol. So _we_ are watching Paw Patrol.

She is an adult – l’m guessing early 30s or late 20s at best.

I might have to share a room during the actual delivery too…and normally I’m the one in the relationship to be more assertive, but if this happens during that time I’m going to need David to step up. I won’t have the energy to tactfully tell someoone about to go into labor they have bizarre taste in television programming.

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Week 27

David says he’s doing fine. Yesterday I came home and found him eating from three different bags of shredded cheese and drinking a bottle of wine. So I don’t know for sure. He said he was fine, but he had cheese shreds all over his beard when he said it.

Then I looked at the calcium content on one of the cheese bags, and I learned yesterday I probably was not getting enough calcium, so I also ate a huge chunk of shredded cheese.

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I’m a Snoring Person Now

Hello! We are at the top of Week 27, and I learned only this morning that I have been snoring for the past three months!

I have had quite a bit more mucus in the mornings, so I assume this is related. Also I don’t know if I’ve mentioned, but I can’t really see my legs anymore. Yesterday I saw through a mirrored reflection that a modest forest had sprouted on my legs. And I’ve been wearing dresses for weeks! I wonder who saw me and thought, “Brave feminist.” Anyway, how upsetting that I am no longer the picture of femininity that I once was.

This weekend we looked at strollers, and the selection was a bit overwhelming. The strollers looked nothing like the kinds I had as a kid. And they were expensive.

Also we walked around our condo and tried to figure out what to do. We concluded nothing.

….

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Presumptious Clothing

I bought some pregnany underwear: underwear that should be comfortable and can cover my changing body and also give my belly lots of space. The colors I selected are neutral (tan, gray, white). The material is cotton and some spandex, presumably so they stay up. The size is large, because that’s what I need.

Anyway, the underwear arrived yesterday! And the wash instructions were like “Hand wash. Do not put in dryer.” And then some ADDITIONAL INSTRUCTIONS, but I stopped reading. I will absolutely be putting this stuff into the washing machine under regular cycle and then into the dryer. I don’t know who this underwear thinks it is…but it is not getting hand wash treatment. It was also marketed to me as great for pregnant bellies, so what pregnant woman is acquiring high maintenance under garments?

In other news, I still have a cold. But I am hoping it’s getting better. I can’t say for sure though.

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Week 26

This week we have a cold! Well I have a cold. The good news is she doesn’t have a cold and is protected by the placenta.

The cold has been quite the nuisance. It started with a scratchy throat Sunday morning, and every night starting at 2am I wake up every hour with a parched mouth – because I can’t breathe through my nose – and a need to pee. When we were abroad I got up at 8am every morning, so I wonder if this is half cold and half poor jet lag recovery. She’s generally moving by the time I get back to bed, which is nice!
I want to know how she’s moving though. Is she moving her feet, is she turning around, is stretching? I have no idea – I just feel something like bubbles in the belly.

David has been busy with work and his Japanese studies, but I know he’s still around because right after I finish doing the dishes new ones appear. *drum beat and cymbals* Thank you, thank you.

Social media ads have done a great job targeting me during this time. I get a lot of ads for pregnancy fitness apps and pregnancy clothes. Today when I was feeling bummed I even got an add for pregnancy meditation, to make me feel happier. This is remarkable because I am pretty certain I did not google or write anything on email or text that would have triggered this compelling, related advertisement. Did I download the app? No, absolutely not. The last thing I need is to be alone with my thoughts for five minutes a day.

Yesterday I was talking to a talented cast member in my comedy troupe who hasn’t written anything in a while. I shared that I thought pregnancy would help me write fun new material, but really I’m just too sad to write. “I feel the same way,” he shared.
He’s not pregnant, so I tried to dig to find out what was affecting his comedy juices. “There’s a lot going on,” I said.
“There’s so much going on!” he replied.
“Do you read the news,” I asked. “There’s something every day that’s upsetting. It’s hard to laugh anymore.”
“No,” he replied, earnestly, “But I hear about it from other people, and it’s rough out there.”

This answer was FASCINATING. I didn’t even really know how to reply. What did he mean he hears about it from other people? And how long do you listen to other people talk about the news and get upset before you start doing your own reading? And who is sharing the information with him? I had so many questions! I didn’t want to pry though, because I thought it might sound judgmental. I have the luxury of affording subscriptions to publications that can invest in journalism, but that’s not the case for everyone. And there are lots of free news sources on the internet, but some of their motivations can be suspect, and sometimes opinion pieces masquerade as reporting on sites of ill-repute.

Speaking of upsetting news, I want to use a re-usable water bottle I received at the Women in Comedy festival, to do my part for the environment. But it’s not dishwasher safe, so I don’t understand …how…I’m supposed…to wash it. Not my finest hour, given I grew up in a house that used the dishwasher for clean towel storage. I’m going to dig deep into the memory archives.

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How dare you, I guess?

I was walking back from Whole Foods, and there were young people on one corner raising money for a cause. One of the women called out to me and said, “Excuse me!” And I just said sheepishly, while crossing the street with my reusable grocery bag, “I’m so sorry…”

And she yelled sincerely, “Oh my gosh! You look so tired! I’m sorry!” and let me continue on my journey.

At first I was relieved to be granted a reprieve from a pitch on some cause I probably support but don’t want to support by giving money while walking on a street. But then I thought, “WAIT HOW TIRED DO I LOOK RIGHT NOW?!” The walk to the grocery store was supposed to be refreshing and envigorating!

I know I look big, and I know I have bags under my eyes, but I really thought I was pulling this whole thing off masterfully.

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Making Tough Choices

For Memorial Day we rent a home with some friends!

This year’s home is near Charlottesville, Virginia. Charlottesville is picturesque, especially in the spring, summer and fall. But my favorite thing about Charlottesville is the Moo Thru on the side of 29 on the way down that serves ice cream from local dairy farmers. All morning yesterday, I was super excited to stop at the Moo Thru. I had big plans: three flavors, one chocolate, the other two would be ones that looked most promising. Three scoops is a lot of scoops, but I’m pregnant, so I can do that guilt free this time. And the taste of gelato was fresh enough in my mind where I could compare the two. I’m not an idiot – I know gelato and ice cream are different, but it’s still fun to compare.

We got on the road in the afternoon, which admittedly was later than the original plan. I ran into a technical hurdle at work that required extra attention.

David was not pleased about our late departure, and the traffic was especially grueling. The total drive was only supposed to be two hours, but by the time we neared the Moo Thru, it was three hours later, and we still had 40 minutes to our destination. There was also a long line at the Moo Thru. This makes sense: it is the best. “Let’s skip this,” I said, “It’s going to take too much time.” I literally said this while holding back tears.

David asked me if I was sure, and I said, “Yes,” determined not to add further time to our trip. He said, “Okay,” and then we kept driving, but he could tell I was distraught. “Let’s turn around and go to the Moo Thru,” he said, slowing down, “You’ve been looking forward to this all day.”

“No no,” I insisted, “Keep going. That’s a long line, and no one here is going to be in a rush to select their ice cream flavors. That’s not the right way.”

So we kept driving, and I knew I had done the right thing, but that didn’t stop the tears for the next five minutes.

Anyway we slept in separate beds last night.

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Appointment Recap

Hello! Fresh material! Hot off the presses!

We had an antenatal appointment today where they wanted to look at her heart and her spine. We have these appointments because I am high risk: over 35 and IVF.

There were portions of her they weren’t able to see last time during a full scan because she was moving too much.
Today she was facing my back and refused to turn around, even after the technician prodded a lot, had me move to my sides, go to the bathroom, move around. Baby refused to turn. So they saw her spine the entire time, but they were not able to examine her heart. We heard her heartbeat, honestly still my favorite sound in the world right now.

Part of me is wondering whether she was like, “Ehem, where is my morning croissant? Why would I move before receiving that?”

The scans we did see looked like Rorschach tests. Nothing looked like anything to us, but the technician was like, “Here are her kidneys…here is her foot, this is her stomach.”

There is one image I did see that stood out to me. One of the angles of her heart looked to me like the image of a woman holding a giant bow and arrow. I wanted to ask David to take a picture, but photos aren’t allowed. But I saw it twice, I really did. It looked a little like below, but in black and white. The bow was bigger than the one in this image. It made me excited. And then I thought, “Maybe the name we picked for her won’t fit this warrior heart she has revealed to me.” I might be overthinking it.

Since she was facing my spine the entire time, they also could not see her face, which is supposed to be fully formed by now. I didn’t mind that. She will reveal herself when she chooses, perhaps when it’s time to attack!

Anyway we have to go back Tuesday so they can look again.

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