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Movie Reviews

This week, I saw three movies. This is three more movies than I usually see a week, so I thought I would share my thoughts on each of the movies:

1. Twilight: New Moon

As someone who has always been fascinated by vampires, teen angst, wolves and forests, New Moon was an ideal movie choice for me. I was impressed with the caliber of acting and costume design. I was also impressed with the maturity with which the protagonist, Bella, handled the emotional obstacles she chanced upon throughout the film. Between running into the forest in the middle of the night, staring out a window for four months and riding on motorbikes with strangers, I am torn about which response to her initial break up with Edward was the most appropriate. Now I know what you’re thinking, “Enough with the suspense already! What team are you on: Team Edward or Team Jacob?!” Well initially, I was on Team Edward, however (spoiler alert!) after Jacob got a haircut, I found myself faced with a more challenging decision. The movie ended with ample opportunity for a sequel, presumably a romantic comedy rife with all the shenanigans that accompanies a vampire wedding.

I give New Moon a rating of 6 Orange Trucks.

2. Everybody’s Fine

As someone who has always been fascinated by loneliness, family disappointment and ground transit, Everybody’s Fine was an ideal movie choice for me. I was moved by the plot and realistic portrayal of a loving family dynamic. After sobbing through the entire movie my well of tears was not yet dry, because the next day I recounted the movie story to my mother, and the salty liquid flowed again from my eyes. I was so moved. Robert De Niro did a masterful job as a father who only wanted his children to be happy, and I completely recommend this movie to anyone with access to a box of tissues and a family.

I give Everybody’s Fine a rating of 17 Tissue Boxes.

3. Some Movie About Fantasy Fiction Created by the People Who Made Napoleon Dynamite

As someone who has always been fascinated by quirky characters and Juno-esque title art, Some Movie About Fantasy Fiction Created by the People Who Made Napoleon Dynamite was an ideal movie choice for me. The movie was so awful, however, that I cannot even remember the name, so I have given it one that is likely far more compelling than the actual movie title must have been. I was really taken aback by how incredibly disgusting the movie was because the cast included Sam Rockwell and Jemaine Clement.

While we were watching the movie, David pondered, “What was Sam Rockwell thinking doing this movie?”
“What was Jemaine Clement thinking!?” I responded.
“I know what Jemaine was thinking,” said David knowingly, “He was thinking ‘I get to be in a movie!’ ”

I give that movie 12 Broncos.

Published in Thoughtful Reflection

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