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General Update: Fitness and the Future

A few important things have happened in the last hour:

  1. I purchased a new FitBit using credit card reward points.
    Context: I was an early adopter of the original FitBit, but after a while it became a burden because I had to charge it all the time. Also the early FitBit did not display the time, only dots. So it always appeared as those I was wearing a watch, when in fact I was wearing a step-tracker. When people would stop me and politely ask for the time, I had to tell them I did not know the time. They would look at my FitBit, decide it was a watch, and fancy me either super lazy or rude for not telling them the time. Upon seeing the movement of their eyes, I would have to explain, “This doesn’t tell me the time. It just tracks my steps. I’m at four dots.” This explanation solved nothing.
    The new FitBit I ordered shows the time. Progress.
  2. I fit into some pair of size 2 jeans. Sort of. I’m wearing them right now and want to take them off because they are tight and my belly is hanging out, and I hate jeans. WHAT IS THE POINT OF JEANS?
  3. I’m thinking all this talk about building bunkers is very interesting.
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Writing Reviews

I’m terrible at writing reviews, but does that stop me from writing them? Absolutely not. I Love Writing Reviews.

I select Excellent in anything I experienced, leave the things that didn’t apply to me blank, and then name names for the people who crossed my path and did right by me. These are quick. Everyone gets A marks in my books.

“But what if the place wasn’t awesome?” you might ask.

 

I give them excellent marks too! That’s why I’m terrible at reviews.

And that’s just some insight into how I operate.

Will I change my ways? No. Do I know what I’m doing is wrong? Eh, not really. Would I believe my own reviews and use them to make decisions? No, absolutely not.

Wait, no, there’s one exception. My movie reviews are pretty spot on.

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Webmastering

I volunteered to be a webmaster for my comedy group. This was absolute folly, because I don’t know anything about running a website (i.e. this here is my finest accomplishment), and, more importantly, it’s extra work.

Anyway yesterday I received some feedback along the lines of, “We need to have more pictures of our group on the site, so people can see who we are.” And I was like, “If people see pictures of us, they’re going to assume we produce podcasts.” Of course I didn’t say that out loud, because I didn’t want him to know I’m ugly on the inside too.

 

 

 

 

 

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Baby Making

The first rule of baby making is to not talk about baby making.

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Married out of my intellectual league.

Me: David, what’s the most powerful movie you’ve seen recently? One that really stuck with you?

David: Hmm, I’d have to say, Incendies.

Me: Oh…the French Canadian psychological thriller?

David: Yes, that one really stands out.

Me: Interesting, let’s move on.

David: Wait, what’s yours?

Me: It’s not important.

David: Let me guess, Neighbors 2?

Me: That was also a good movie. But no, I was thinking, Zootopia. That really resonated with me.

David: Mmhmm.

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More thoughts on my amazing coat

As you know, I have an incredible coat. Now that the weather is colder and darkness descends upon us all, I’ve had more opportunities to wear my black coat.

David has taken to complimenting my on my coat, and I’m going to put some of the compliments here, so I can remember them.

October 2016

David: You look like a futuristic witch.

 

November  26, 2016

Me: How do I look?

David: You look great, like you’re ready to fight in the Matrix.

 

 

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