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Day 2 Sort of

Greetings! I have just had my second birth control tablet. Last night I ate some cheese and caffeinated iced tea, so I’m already living it up.

I was also moody during Dungeons and Dragons, but I don’t know if I can blame that on the birth control. Currently in the game we are being held captive by magic wrist bands of some sort. In exchange for our freedom we have to do the bidding of the local colonizers. But I have yet to see evidence that anyone has been freed from these bands before, so as far as I’m concerned, we are just helping oppressors who have not demonstrated they are acting in good faith. My character feels similarly.

I also learned that the app I use to track my period has a “TTC” setting. TTC is short for trying-to-conceive. I think that’s a new feature. I activated it, and there are so many additional components I did not know about! There are charts you can complete, words I did not know before (what is ferning?), and symbols to help identify important times of the month. Fascinating!

I just looked up ferning. I think I’m going to buy a microscope.

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Day 1 Sort of

Greetings! I have just had my first birth control tablet, which marks the official start of the foray into IVF.

I think the birth control is supposed to set internal things to neutral, so when the time is right, they can stimulate the ovaries to produce a bunch of eggs at the same time that they can eventually extract.

Now that I’m back on birth control, I’m thinking about going on a real bender. I’m talking unpasteurized cheeses, caffeinated tea, cured meats, sashimi, really just throwing caution to the wind.

We signed some forms. My sister gets our frozen embryos if we die. I haven’t told her. I’ll leave that as a fun surprise for her to learn about should such a tragedy occur.

Over the weekend I played tennis, and in the midst of the playing, my knee started to feel shaky. This was pretty upsetting, because you need your knees in tennis, and I run a lot when I play. Over the weekend I was also bitten by some treacherous mosquitos – the bites are so big. I scratch and I scratch.

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A Day of Firsts

It is me! I got my period today. It was four days late. This is a first for me.

Anyway, to provide a sense for how optimistic I still was that I was pregnant: I peed into my urine test cup. It was bright red with my period soaked urine. Then I put a pregnancy test strip into the blood soaked cup and waited for the line to appear that would confirm I was not pregnant.

The test strips I use are super cheap, so I wasn’t being reckless with money. I have a box of 100 test strips. I hate those strips because the purple not-pregnant line is so dark. I feel like it’s taunting me every time.

As another first, I am now wearing an organic cotton pad. I bought a pack in Bath, Maine to see what was all the rage. It’s super thick. Let’s see whether organic cotton is any match for my rapidly shedding uterine lining.

Now we begin our journey into sophisticated fertility treatment.

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Mexico City

I have a performance Sunday night that I’m terribly unprepared for. I could be reading the scripts over right now, but I would rather sit here and wax poetic to you, dear blog.

This past weekend I was in Mexico City. That’s right: a different country. I am always deeply ashamed when I do not speak the language of the country I am visiting, so I made it a point to mime apologies for my ignorance and be as easy a customer as possible. But one person I was travelling with was a vegan who was very concerned about food poisoning from tap water. She also did not speak Spanish, but that did not stop her from asking if there was meat, milk, eggs, honey or butter in the ingredients, and whether their ice was created using purified water. I enjoyed watching the confused servers track down their strongest English speaker who appeared baffled by the questions every time. And my traveling companion was oft left uncertain of their answers.

We went to a delicious bakery in Mexico City, and I took a picture of it so that I could recommend the bakery to other people. When I was talking about it to some people in Mexico City, I said, “Here is a picture, it was called Panadería, are you familiar with this bakery? I highly recommend it.” I showed them the photo, they looked at each other and then back at me and said, “Panaderia is Spanish for bakery.”

So, anyway, now I know one word in Spanish.

We also went to the Frida Kahlo museum in Coyoacán. I originally led my friends to the wrong part of Coyoacán using an address I found on Trip Advisor: Avenida Coyoacan No. 2000, Mexico City 03103, Mexico. This was not an interesting destination. They forgave me, and we all agreed the hour long walk to the wrong location was a lovely expedition through Mexico City. Then we took an Uber to the Frida Kahlo museum, which was the cooler part of town.

The End

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Gah

I do not like the nurse that calls to tell me I’m not pregnant. Joan. I don’t blame her for the news, but I do blame her for her delivery.

Next time I’m going to react differently. This time I knew, so I was understanding, but I had follow-up questions about next steps, and Joan seemed surprised by that, which was also annoying. I felt asking those questions was logical. But next time, I’m going to be really crazy. The conversation will go like this:

Joan: I have some bad news.

Me: What is it?

Joan: It was negative.

Me: What was negative?

Joan: The blood test.

Me: What does that mean for me?

Joan: You are not pregnant.

Me: How would a blood test prove that?

Joan: ….

Me: Joan are you there?

Joan: (heavy sigh) I’m sorry this must be difficult. (who knows if she would have the wherewithal to even say this)

Me: Joan what are you trying to say?

Joan: You are not pregnant.

Me: Thank you for sharing your opinion. What did the real doctor have to say about this?

Joan: The doctor says we should try again next cycle.

Me: So you’re saying the doctor shares your theory about blood tests.

Joan: ….

Me: Joan, how do I know…you are not making this up? What if I have the baby, and you take it away?

Me: Joan where is my blood right now? I want it back.

Me: JOAN.

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