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Week 27

David says he’s doing fine. Yesterday I came home and found him eating from three different bags of shredded cheese and drinking a bottle of wine. So I don’t know for sure. He said he was fine, but he had cheese shreds all over his beard when he said it.

Then I looked at the calcium content on one of the cheese bags, and I learned yesterday I probably was not getting enough calcium, so I also ate a huge chunk of shredded cheese.

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I’m a Snoring Person Now

Hello! We are at the top of Week 27, and I learned only this morning that I have been snoring for the past three months!

I have had quite a bit more mucus in the mornings, so I assume this is related. Also I don’t know if I’ve mentioned, but I can’t really see my legs anymore. Yesterday I saw through a mirrored reflection that a modest forest had sprouted on my legs. And I’ve been wearing dresses for weeks! I wonder who saw me and thought, “Brave feminist.” Anyway, how upsetting that I am no longer the picture of femininity that I once was.

This weekend we looked at strollers, and the selection was a bit overwhelming. The strollers looked nothing like the kinds I had as a kid. And they were expensive.

Also we walked around our condo and tried to figure out what to do. We concluded nothing.


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Presumptious Clothing

I bought some pregnany underwear: underwear that should be comfortable and can cover my changing body and also give my belly lots of space. The colors I selected are neutral (tan, gray, white). The material is cotton and some spandex, presumably so they stay up. The size is large, because that’s what I need.

Anyway, the underwear arrived yesterday! And the wash instructions were like “Hand wash. Do not put in dryer.” And then some ADDITIONAL INSTRUCTIONS, but I stopped reading. I will absolutely be putting this stuff into the washing machine under regular cycle and then into the dryer. I don’t know who this underwear thinks it is…but it is not getting hand wash treatment. It was also marketed to me as great for pregnant bellies, so what pregnant woman is acquiring high maintenance under garments?

In other news, I still have a cold. But I am hoping it’s getting better. I can’t say for sure though.

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Week 26

This week we have a cold! Well I have a cold. The good news is she doesn’t have a cold and is protected by the placenta.

The cold has been quite the nuisance. It started with a scratchy throat Sunday morning, and every night starting at 2am I wake up every hour with a parched mouth – because I can’t breathe through my nose – and a need to pee. When we were abroad I got up at 8am every morning, so I wonder if this is half cold and half poor jet lag recovery. She’s generally moving by the time I get back to bed, which is nice!
I want to know how she’s moving though. Is she moving her feet, is she turning around, is stretching? I have no idea – I just feel something like bubbles in the belly.

David has been busy with work and his Japanese studies, but I know he’s still around because right after I finish doing the dishes new ones appear. *drum beat and cymbals* Thank you, thank you.

Social media ads have done a great job targeting me during this time. I get a lot of ads for pregnancy fitness apps and pregnancy clothes. Today when I was feeling bummed I even got an add for pregnancy meditation, to make me feel happier. This is remarkable because I am pretty certain I did not google or write anything on email or text that would have triggered this compelling, related advertisement. Did I download the app? No, absolutely not. The last thing I need is to be alone with my thoughts for five minutes a day.

Yesterday I was talking to a talented cast member in my comedy troupe who hasn’t written anything in a while. I shared that I thought pregnancy would help me write fun new material, but really I’m just too sad to write. “I feel the same way,” he shared.
He’s not pregnant, so I tried to dig to find out what was affecting his comedy juices. “There’s a lot going on,” I said.
“There’s so much going on!” he replied.
“Do you read the news,” I asked. “There’s something every day that’s upsetting. It’s hard to laugh anymore.”
“No,” he replied, earnestly, “But I hear about it from other people, and it’s rough out there.”

This answer was FASCINATING. I didn’t even really know how to reply. What did he mean he hears about it from other people? And how long do you listen to other people talk about the news and get upset before you start doing your own reading? And who is sharing the information with him? I had so many questions! I didn’t want to pry though, because I thought it might sound judgmental. I have the luxury of affording subscriptions to publications that can invest in journalism, but that’s not the case for everyone. And there are lots of free news sources on the internet, but some of their motivations can be suspect, and sometimes opinion pieces masquerade as reporting on sites of ill-repute.

Speaking of upsetting news, I want to use a re-usable water bottle I received at the Women in Comedy festival, to do my part for the environment. But it’s not dishwasher safe, so I don’t understand …how…I’m supposed…to wash it. Not my finest hour, given I grew up in a house that used the dishwasher for clean towel storage. I’m going to dig deep into the memory archives.

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How dare you, I guess?

I was walking back from Whole Foods, and there were young people on one corner raising money for a cause. One of the women called out to me and said, “Excuse me!” And I just said sheepishly, while crossing the street with my reusable grocery bag, “I’m so sorry…”

And she yelled sincerely, “Oh my gosh! You look so tired! I’m sorry!” and let me continue on my journey.

At first I was relieved to be granted a reprieve from a pitch on some cause I probably support but don’t want to support by giving money while walking on a street. But then I thought, “WAIT HOW TIRED DO I LOOK RIGHT NOW?!” The walk to the grocery store was supposed to be refreshing and envigorating!

I know I look big, and I know I have bags under my eyes, but I really thought I was pulling this whole thing off masterfully.

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There are a slew of classes you can sign up to prepare. We’ve gotten mixed responses, but I think we have narrowed it down to these ones:

1) Infant care
2) Infant CPR
3) Breastfeeding
4) Hospital tour

My ob-gyn said the last two weren’t necessary, because you don’t know what your breastfeeding situation is going to be until the baby arrives. She also shared the tour wasn’t necessary because that baby is coming out, so knowing about the room isn’t going to matter. The one class she recommended was Infant CPR, which wasn’t on our radar. I appreciated her relaxed approach for a few weeks. But panic just set in, and I have registered us for extra classes.

Also we have to find a pediatrician. I have never had a dedicated doctor or a pediatrician, so this is new.

I learned yesterday that some of these charming body changes might be permanent! I’ll keep the boobs, but my friend yesterday said she never got her regular sized stomach back, and someone else shared their bigger shoe size was permaement. Another person shared she still has her linea negra. WHAT. That one might be okay because I don’t plan on wearing anything where that will be an issue, but still!

And our home is such a mess! I want to pack up all the winter clothes to make space, but I can’t bend over because I am a walking balloon!


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Got Moo Thru

Hello! Should have warned you the title was a bit of a spoiler. We were driving home and the internet told me the Moo Thru would be closed on Monday (today). Well that was not well-received by yours truly, but I handled the news with grace and dignity.

Then as we drove closer we saw a line and that the Moo Thru was in fact open. We pulled over, waited patiently, and the line was helpful because it helped me narrow down my selection to five flavors:

Dark chocolate
Mint chocolate chip

I could only pick three (that was the maximum) so after some consultation with the ice cream teller I landed on dark chocolate, banana, and strawberry. They were extremely satisfying. I did not get a cone, but their cones are delicious as well.

Now we’re back home, and it’s time to begin the nesting phase of the pregnancy. Note that in the literature it says I will naturally begin this phase. The spirit of cleaning will compel me in the second trimester, they said. This has not happened. Rather, I need to start cleaning now before it’s going to be even more physically difficult to keep bending over. I have to force myself to clean, my least favorite thing. Play time is over.

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Making Tough Choices

For Memorial Day we rent a home with some friends!

This year’s home is near Charlottesville, Virginia. Charlottesville is picturesque, especially in the spring, summer and fall. But my favorite thing about Charlottesville is the Moo Thru on the side of 29 on the way down that serves ice cream from local dairy farmers. All morning yesterday, I was super excited to stop at the Moo Thru. I had big plans: three flavors, one chocolate, the other two would be ones that looked most promising. Three scoops is a lot of scoops, but I’m pregnant, so I can do that guilt free this time. And the taste of gelato was fresh enough in my mind where I could compare the two. I’m not an idiot – I know gelato and ice cream are different, but it’s still fun to compare.

We got on the road in the afternoon, which admittedly was later than the original plan. I ran into a technical hurdle at work that required extra attention.

David was not pleased about our late departure, and the traffic was especially grueling. The total drive was only supposed to be two hours, but by the time we neared the Moo Thru, it was three hours later, and we still had 40 minutes to our destination. There was also a long line at the Moo Thru. This makes sense: it is the best. “Let’s skip this,” I said, “It’s going to take too much time.” I literally said this while holding back tears.

David asked me if I was sure, and I said, “Yes,” determined not to add further time to our trip. He said, “Okay,” and then we kept driving, but he could tell I was distraught. “Let’s turn around and go to the Moo Thru,” he said, slowing down, “You’ve been looking forward to this all day.”

“No no,” I insisted, “Keep going. That’s a long line, and no one here is going to be in a rush to select their ice cream flavors. That’s not the right way.”

So we kept driving, and I knew I had done the right thing, but that didn’t stop the tears for the next five minutes.

Anyway we slept in separate beds last night.

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Appointment Recap

Hello! Fresh material! Hot off the presses!

We had an antenatal appointment today where they wanted to look at her heart and her spine. We have these appointments because I am high risk: over 35 and IVF.

There were portions of her they weren’t able to see last time during a full scan because she was moving too much.
Today she was facing my back and refused to turn around, even after the technician prodded a lot, had me move to my sides, go to the bathroom, move around. Baby refused to turn. So they saw her spine the entire time, but they were not able to examine her heart. We heard her heartbeat, honestly still my favorite sound in the world right now.

Part of me is wondering whether she was like, “Ehem, where is my morning croissant? Why would I move before receiving that?”

The scans we did see looked like Rorschach tests. Nothing looked like anything to us, but the technician was like, “Here are her kidneys…here is her foot, this is her stomach.”

There is one image I did see that stood out to me. One of the angles of her heart looked to me like the image of a woman holding a giant bow and arrow. I wanted to ask David to take a picture, but photos aren’t allowed. But I saw it twice, I really did. It looked a little like below, but in black and white. The bow was bigger than the one in this image. It made me excited. And then I thought, “Maybe the name we picked for her won’t fit this warrior heart she has revealed to me.” I might be overthinking it.

Since she was facing my spine the entire time, they also could not see her face, which is supposed to be fully formed by now. I didn’t mind that. She will reveal herself when she chooses, perhaps when it’s time to attack!

Anyway we have to go back Tuesday so they can look again.

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Oops! I’m getting repetitive!

I read my last two posts last night, and I’m so sorry. They were pretty much the same post! I am either boring or forgetful now, or perhaps a mix of both. This is terrible. I have no one to blame for this but myself.

I spent free time during our travels reading the news and Game of Thrones analyses, and the news was upsetting, as usual, and the GoT analysis was just fun to read. Last year during our vacation, the latest news was of the child separations at the border, and this year on vacation (nothing from last year is resolved) the latest development is that we are on the brink of war with Iran. Admittedly this has been brewing for years, but it seems over the past two weeks congress has gotten on board with Bolton, and that’s more concerning. Keep in mind: the group Bolton endorses for the new regime should the US try to overthrow the current one endorses a more extreme version of Islam. Politically emboldened extremists from any religion are a problem. I don’t hear anyone talking about restoration or rebuilding efforts should we enter in war, so it’s extra frustrating to see our great nation repeat mistakes we made fairly recently. WHY ARE WE SO QUICK TO ABANDON THE POWELL DOCTRINE?

Anyway, the news consumes most of my thoughts in general, but I don’t have additional information to add, so it seems writing about it here would be silly. And I’m not a good enough comedian to laugh or make jokes about tragedy. So I followed the “write what you know” rule of thumb, but that resulted in two posts that read the same way! Oops!

I’ll do better. Don’t leave me.


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