Bermuda triangle, girl scout, or alpine skiing?

Last night was supposed to be a very relaxed night. But then, my friend called me up and said, “Want to go to a bikini competition?”

“Yes.” I responded, without hesitating. As a pervert, such competitions are often very enjoyable for me to watch. That’s a joke, of course. I’m not a pervert.  I’m just a lonely man, looking for love in all the wrong places.

Anyway, I have always wondered what it was like to go to MTV’s Spring Break or participate in some other form of youth revelry. So now, in my older age, I am quick to jump on any opportunity that will give me a glimpse of the fun I could have had.

Anyway, we got there, had some drinks, and the competition started. The one thing I remember distinctly about competition is the young announcer who asked the competitors questions. He was awful. He just kept asking the exact same questions. One of his questions just required that the girl pick one word from three he supplied. 

Here are three of the five interviews I watched:

DJ: Do you have a boyfriend?

Girl: Yes

Audience: Booo!

DJ: Oh no! Do you have a girlfriend?

Girl: Uh…no. I have a boyfriend.

Audience: Booo!

DJ: Choose one of three: bermuda triangle, girl scout, or alpine skiing.

Girl: *blank look*

DJ: (speaking slower) Bermuda triange…Girl scout….or allllpine skiing.

Girl: Uh, I don’t know, girl scout

Audience: Booo!

DJ: Looks like the audience didn’t like that!

Girl: *Smiles and waves*

DJ: What are you going to spend the money on if you win?

Girl: I can’t tell you that.

———————

DJ: Do you have a boyfriend?

Girl: No!

Audience: Yaaay!

DJ: Oh no! Do you have a girlfriend?

Girl: Maaaybe..

Audience: Yaaay!

DJ: Choose one of three: bermuda triangle, girl scout, or alpine skiing.

Girl: *blank (and completely justified) WTF look*

DJ: (speaking slower) Bermuda triange…Girl scout….or alpine skiing.

Girl: Uh, I don’t know, girl scout

Audience: Booo!

DJ: Looks like the audience didn’t like that!

Girl: *looks confused*

DJ: What are you going to spend the money on if you win?

Girl: Vegas baby!

———————

My favorite, however, was the following Q&A:

DJ: Do you have a boyfriend?

Girl: No, I have a son.

Audience: Yaay!

DJ: Oh no! Do you have a girlfriend?

Girl: No.

Audience: Yaaay!

DJ: Choose one of three: bermuda triangle, girl scout, or alpine skiing.

Girl: Girl scout

Audience: Booo!

DJ: Looks like the audience didn’t like that!

DJ: What are you going to spend the money on if you win?

Girl: My son.