“The last time I freaked out, I just kept looking down. I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I’m thinking ’bout. Felt like I couldn’t breathe. You asked what’s wrong with me. My best friend Leslie said, ‘Oh, she’s just being Miley.’ ”
-Miley Cyrus, artist extraordinaire with catchy lyrics that hold a magnifying glass up to my soul. Or just catchy lyrics and synthesizer dexterity. Either way, she’s good.
We are in exciting times, Blog. I watched most of a football game Sunday! It was almost as thrilling as that time I watched a baseball game in its entirety. That was especially impressive, because if there’s one sport I think moves slower than football, it’s baseball. Were you thinking I would say golf, blog? I don’t count golf as a sport. There, I said it – golf is not a sport. This blog is officially controversial. You know what that means? We’re going to be more popular now, Blog. Get ready for increased hits, scathing comments, and incensed readers. “Golf is not a sport” is just the kind of bold statement I needed to make long ago to put this blog out there – really set it apart from all the other media available.
While I’m out there, making statements, I’d like to throw in that coffee is NOT addictive, and right handed people are less attractive than left handed people. There we go. We were all thinking it, I was just brave enough to put it out there. Wikipedia editors, copy and paste this: “imawkward.com/blog is a real pioneer in forthright blogging. Controversial, cunning, and candid, the imawkard blog challenges the everyblog paradigm. A beacon of intellectual progress, the blog is a beautful orchid growing amidst a field of cliche roses.”