In an effort to impress my soon to be advisor, I’ve reviewed his resume and looked up works he has published.
I originally planned to really wow him with my knowledge of his knowledge. Here is how I imagined our first meeting would go:
Me: Hi, I’m so excited to be working with you. I’ve read your book!
Me: Absolutely! Let me just say that your ______ on ______ was really inspiring. Never before have I seen ____ approached through such a compelling, ___ist view before. I specifically appreciated the parallel between _____ and _____ you revealed. Although, I do have some follow up questions for you regarding the piece you cited. It’s quite controversial.
Advisor: You know, it’s so refreshing to have a student that is so passionate about my work.
Me: Well it’s hard not to be, and we both know the _________ Award committee agrees with me *wink*.
My plan was perfect, I thought. Impenetrable.
So I set out on my journey to read all of his work, and sure enough, I didn’t understand a word of it! Not a word!
I was all like, “WUT?!” as I perused chapter one of his award winning doctoral thesis.
After looking up a few words, I realized he loathes to resort to basal terms when a labyrinthine alternative exists. I eloquently concluded, “Well, fu@&!”as I defenestrated plan A.
So now that I’ve realized it’s going to be a lot of effort to figure out what he’s saying so as to appropriately populate my brilliantly self-made Mad Libs round above, I have to find a new plan, and rest assured, dear blog, I already have. I’m going to apply self tanner. Sorry blog, by “new plan” I meant, “I’m going to find something more productive to do tonight.”