Oh blog, the most wretched thing happened today. One of my co-workers bought greasy, fast food, and the smell wafted through the air and arrived at my unsuspecting nostrils. I was at once overcome with the desire to eat french fries and a fried burger. I could no longer focus on work. Instead, I thought about the nearest fast food establishments and mapped the fastest routes to each. I turned my nose up to my yogurt and fruit and longed desperately to have something smothered in mysterious oils, mayonnaise, mustard, and two small pieces of a pickle. Blog, how I yearned for something salty and unwholesome!
Then, blog, I checked my wallet to make sure I had enough cash to make my wishes come true. To my dismay, I had none! I gasped. Okay – I didn’t gasp. I knew my wallet was empty. I knew fate had dealt me a cruel hand, inspiring that co-worker to buy junk food for lunch. I knew my decision to keep my wallet empty so as not to run out on a whim and buy junk food was a stupid one. But did I know the great agony I would feel blog? No! I didn’t. I didn’t know. Avoiding the ATM machine seemed like such a good idea at the time.
So here I am, blog. I had fruit and yogurt for lunch. Was it healthy? Sure. Was it delicious? Absolutely. Did it make me feel good? No. Did it make the day easier to bear? No! Did it fill a void I hadn’t known existed? Obviously not!
In other news, it may snow tomorrow. Also, I got a haircut. However, I have not been able to recreate the style the stylist created for me in the hair salon. She made styling my hair look so easy, but upon trying to actually style it myself, I quickly realized that that woman is an overly tattooed magician with mystical fingers and an eye for head hair brilliance. She has a gift.