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I'm Shocked You've Never Heard of Me

Some very important events have transpired that I must share with you.

First off, I have a cold. Now usually, I would be really irritated to have a cold, but I’m using some super soft Kleenex that is making my nose-blowing experience rather pleasant. Sometimes, I hold the Kleenex up to my nose just to feel it against my skin.

In other news, we have a family reunion coming up. It is very important that I exude success and have something to brag about. As this site is my first project, it is imperative that it becomes a hit so that when my aunt asks, “What do you do?”

I can proudly say, “I’m the prodigy behind Surely you’ve heard of it. AWKWARD. A-W-K-W-A-R-D. No? You haven’t? I assure you, it’s big.”

“Oh, is that like that company google, where your cousin works?” she will respond.

“Exactly,” I will nod. I might even take it a step further, “I’m surprised you’ve heard of google and not imawkward.”

She will stare.

I will continue, “You know, it’s kind of refreshing to be around people who have no idea how big I am.”

At this point my mom will probably find me and drag me away before I further embarass my immediate family.

Published in Social Life


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