I found my college ring today. As I gently pushed it onto my finger and declared proudly, “Still fits!” I reflected on the past 10 years.
Here are some things I would have said to younger me, 10 years ago:
1) You are going to earn a green belt in Tae Kwon Do. It may be your greatest accomplishment in the next 10 years.
2) Don’t worry. You will “use it before you lose it.” You’ll be closer to 30 than 20 though. IT’S OKAY, because it will be with your soul-mate.
3) Yes, yes, you meet your soul-mate. Calm down.
4) You know how you’re always worried your degree is useless? You’re right. The master’s degree you end up picking is also ridiculous. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
5) Keep writing.
6) You can’t cancel your gym membership by letting your credit card expire. They submit your information to collections. Gym memberships are impossible to cancel. It’s highway robbery, and once the government has solved the housing crisis, this should be next on the list.
7) Connor leaves you Catch-22 in his will, so don’t bother buying that book yourself.
8) You know Ryan, that guy you suspected was a Vampire first year of college? You two end up being good friends. You’ve only seen him in direct sunlight once though, and he looked VERY uncomfortable, so he is still not to be trusted.
9) Facebook is going to be even bigger than you thought it would be. And it’s not going to die when you thought it would die.
10) Try lots of things, especially improv. Go forth, young person.
And here are some things younger me would have said back.
1) What? How about some lottery numbers, b*tch!
2) Will I make a 30 under 30 list? Based on your Item 1, I’m guessing it’ s a resounding “No.”
3) I’m looking at you, and I can see our acne problem hasn’t gone away. Has science stalled on that front?