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School! School.


She had been excited about going to school, because we have been talking about school for months. On the playground one day, a kid on the swing next to her told her he was going to school, and she excitedly replied, “I going to school too!” Also, Daniel Tiger goes to school.

So yesterday morning in bed, I said, “You know what today is?” and she sleepily replied, “School.”
She told me she would be taking Baby Yoda and lunch box to school. (Her water bottle is a Baby Yoda water bottle.)
I had laid out her outfit for the day, and she said, “Not this one, this one,” picking out a dress. She also went and selected different socks. She hugged Minnie Mouse, and said, “Oh Minnie, you’re so sleepy!” (This Minnie Mouse stuffed doll is asleep at all times.)

Downstairs, David said, “Let’s pick out your shoes!” This was a mistake, because none of the shoes she likes are school appropriate. Negotiations ensued, and finally she put on sneakers with Velcro straps. She has a pair of sneakers in size 5, 5.5, 7, and I think she’s actually a size 6 right now. She wore the size 5.5 shoes. We took a family picture, got in the car, I put sunscreen on her, and we headed to school. We are supposed to drive up to the gate, and take her out of the car. As I was unbuckling her, she softly said, “I’m scared, mommy.” It took a lot for me to say, “You don’t have to be scared, you are brave,” and not, “I’M SCARED TOO!” and start crying. She didn’t start crying though! She took the school principle’s hand and walked to the gate to join her classmates.

Then David and I drove home, teary eyed. We went to Coscto, bought her a giant toy, came home, I exercised, and then at 2:45 pm we received a “Day in the Life” email where the first paragraph said, “Practice self soothing skills while crying at home. I had her focus on taking a deep breath in and exhale and that helped her calm down.” To which David and I both thought, “We need to go get her immediately.”
Pickup was at 3:30 pm, and we spotted her in the playground clinging to one of the teachers. The teacher walked her to us and said, “She missed you a lot.” She definitely seemed shaken, and her eyelashes were wet. In the car she told me, “I cried a lot.” At home when she cries, she tells me, “I cried a little, better now.” This was the first time she said she cried a lot.

This morning, she calmly said, “Come to school mommy,” and I explained I couldn’t. I shared that parents weren’t allowed at school, because it was an opportunity to learn and to make friends. Then she thoughtfully nodded, and said, “Mommy, come to school.” This discussion continued for a few minutes. We got dressed for school, with her picking out an ensemble that does not match at all. Then we headed downstairs for breakfast, and she put on her size 7 sneakers.

Then it started, “I don’t want to go to school.” “I don’t like school!” “School is hard!” “NO!”
We got into the car, and I applied sunscreen (and she helped) and then she said, “Lion King songs.” She loves the Lion King music. “Bad Lion song,” she asked to hear this morning, which is fine, because we have heard “Can You Feel the Love Tonight,” and “Hakuna Matata” a lot.
When we needed to take her out of the car, there was another kid screaming and crying that he did not want to go to school, and our daughter began the waterworks! “Did you work on her breathing?” the teacher asked, and I shared we did. She clung tightly and screamed, “I DON’T LIKE SCHOOL!” The teacher asked if she told me they did yoga yesterday, and I said, “Oh! No! She didn’t!” But blog, guess what, my daughter HATES yoga even more than I do. This isn’t even a dislike I have told my daughter about. Every time I try to do yoga or engage her in it, she said, “No no no,” and walks away.
In my head, I was like “Ugh, really? No wonder she hates school.”

Finally I put her down and ran toward the car, as David helped pass her to the teacher. It was difficult, and I did not like it, and I hope she’s okay.

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