Tomorrow, I’m going to observe a casting call.
The production assistant will say, “Miss, are you ready for the taping?”
I will point to myself, look left, look right, feign shock, and then laugh. “Oh! You’re talking to me!” I’ll yell, of course, so other people hear the confusion too. The production guy will stare impatiently, and I’ll say, “No no! I’m just observing! I’m not an actress.” Then I’ll walk away, shaking my head as though it was a preposterous idea: “An actress!” He’ll mutter, “Why the f did she stand in the actress line then?”
Then, then I will regale my friends with the story, leaving out minor details of course. No need to bore them. “So, I was just standing around, nowhere near any actresses, obviously, and you know what happened?” I will pause dramatically, then continue, “The production people mistook ME for an actress! Can you believe it?!” to which they should* respond, “Well, we can’t blame him. You’re very glamorous.”
*If they’re worth their salt.