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Category archive for: Building the site

Webmastering

I volunteered to be a webmaster for my comedy group. This was absolute folly, because I don’t know anything about running a website (i.e. this here was my finest accomplishment), and, more importantly, it’s extra work.

The person who oversees our comedy group, however, is very kind and persistent, so I made the website. It actually looks so sleek; I can never do better.

Anyway yesterday I received a note that read, “What do you think about a ‘revamp’? I want to challenge us to do better.”

Unbelievable.

 

 

 

 

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Welcome to our Second Reader!

Hello! This is a big day! We might* have a second site visitor today! It’s Kim! I won’t put her last name here, but she’s a formidable athlete, a loving mother, a veteran, a giving wife, a talented photographer, and she recently picked up acting credits!

Welcome Kim! Thank you for visiting!

This is a big day. I’ve already notified my site hosting provider that traffic is doubled now.

*We might have a second site visitor because she asked for the link. I don’t know if she’ll actually visit, but I thought it would be good to post a welcome message, just in case. Jennie, if you’re reading this, don’t worry, you’re still our first fan.

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It’s Time to Sparkle

It has been a long time since I updated. You’re probably thinking, “Well…your last entry was about social awareness…surely you have been tied up in philanthropic endeavors. That is admirable, and for that, your absence is forgiven.”

Well, thank you. I appreciate your understanding. I…might have just been busy with regular work…but that is neither here nor there.

I’m back now, and that is all that matters. So without any further ado, I shall share something very important with you:

I am going to add the word “sparkle” to my vernacular. I’m going to use the word every day, because it’s the most beautiful word. I’m also going to make “sparkling” part of my life mission. In everything I create, I will ask myself, “Is there enough sparkle here?” If the answer is “No,” I will deem the work unacceptable until it shines. If I meet someone with an exceptional amount of sparkle, I will befriend them, and then I will mimic everything they do, so that I too can have an exceptional amount of sparkle. And on days when it is difficult to sparkle, I will sparkle brightest of all.

Hoorah!

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Curious Situation

I installed a site counter to track how many web visits I receive. Here is a curious result: I have no site visitors. Zero. People aren’t even accidentally navigating to this site! Can you believe it? Yes, you say? Idiot. Who asked you? I asked you. We might as well have it out here in this post, because clearly, no one else will ever see it.

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Welcome Comic!

Two posts in one night! To what do you owe this pleasure, blog?

Welllll, this post is about a merger taking place.  As you know, the comic and the blog have been competing for quite some time now.  My readers, i.e., yours truly, would have to navigate between two completely different web pages to see the comic and read the posts.  Plus, the minimalist look I had aimed for during the comic’s inception may have been a little too minimalist.  Now, to see the comics, click on the Comics category on the right hand side.  The original publication date is listed under each comic.  Unfortunately, as it stands, you must expand each Comic post to see the comic. This extra click is a small price to pay for scenes that will keep you laughing for hours on end, of course.

So, blog, please extend a warm welcome to the Awkward Comic (rights reserved).  We’re happy to have you on board.

Clap.

Clap.

Clap.

Clap.

Wild applause!

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Teenie Bopper?

Blog, terrible news. Today we launched a class project, Mannerisms, and my peers seemed to receive it well. That’s not the terrible news part.

The terrible news is that they thought the site was an exercise in satire!   So while I was putting Kelly Clarkson’s latest masterpiece up on the site, heralding it as a socially transformative, invigorating new song, my peers applauded the group on our humorously accurate parody of a teenie bopper web site.

Then they proceeded to compliment us on our outrageously tacky photo selection for Moment of the Week, again citing our clever grasp of the things that would appeal to the most shallow, under-developed of females.   At that point I grew defensive and gathered all of my mental faculties to craft my pointed response: “Um, it’s just a really sweet moment…”   My colleagues-in-learning stared at me.  So I continued, “But yes, I’m glad the satire was not lost on you. Whew.  That was…one of our concerns…that people wouldn’t see…that it was designed as a farce.”

I died a little inside today, blog.  (Not really.)

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We are getting pretty big

Hello Blog! According to various technology blogs, Apple has manufactured an iPhone sellout in order to make their product seem hip and popular.  As someone who knows people who use iPhones, I was mildly enraged! I was somewhat offended! I sort of could not believe Apple would take its addicted users for granted and toy with their emotions to make their product seem more popular!

After my initial semi-dismay, I thought about how I could follow this technology behemoth’s model.  Everyone loves Apple, and soon, everyone will love imawkard.com.  But clearly, we have a ways to go.  How could we here at imawkward.com manufacture an overburdening popularity?  The answer soon dawned on me. We could post up one of those “we have exceeded bandwith” pages.  And so, I am going to add a link to the home page.  The link is going to be called, “Amazingly Awkward.” The content will be so popular that it will consistently exceed bandwidth *wink*.

 

In other news dear blog, I’m yet again on travels.  This time I’m in Minneapolis, Minnesota, where I hope to see the Mall of America and purchase something, like an article of clothing, or shoes, or a day planner.  

Oh! Also I have some great news, we’ve created a new site, here at imawkward.com. We’ve compiled all sorts of amazingly awkward material.  Be sure to take a look and tell your friends! Click here.

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From that day on, I wuz runnin'

Great news blog. I now have, in my possession, a giant whiteboard. This whiteboard will be paramount to my ability to brainstorm on a whiteboard. Before, I didn’t have a whiteboard, so there was no whiteboard brainstorming. In fact, all of my brainstorming was on a piece of paper, or in my head, or not happening at all. Things will change dramatically now. Brainstorming, as I know it, will never be the same. I have grand plans to find a whiteboard marker and a whiteboard eraser as well.

In other great news, the comic is making great progress. It’s not funny, but it’s there, and that in itself is remarkable progress.

 

Well blog, it has been a while since I wrote, so I suppose I should update you on the great happenings in my life. The weather has been finicky, with the temperature undulating heavily for the past few weeks. April’s showers continued into May, and while the rain has been great for the grass, it has made reveling in spring growth difficult because I avoid going outside. Additionally, the lack of warm weather has curtailed my shopping for fun summer attire, and that affects you, blog, because shopping adventures form the bulk of my blog content.

I’m also training for a 10 mile run. By “training” I mean I signed up to run 10 miles, and have been thinking about running. I have to buy running shoes first, however. Then, after buying the shoes, I have to make a schedule that dictates how much I must run. I must also amass a bunch of quotations about setting goals and perseverance.

For example:

“Running is a big question mark that’s there each and every day. It asks you, ‘Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?'”
– Peter Maher, Irish-Canadian Olympian and sub-2:12 marathoner

 

“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a lion or gazelle – when the sun comes up, you’d better be running.”
– Anonymous

 

“Top results are reached only through pain. But eventually you like this pain. You’ll find the more difficulties you have on the way, the more you will enjoy your success.”
– Juha “the Curel” Vaatainen

 

 

“Sam’s daughter ran three marathon’s last year.”
-My Dad

You see, blog, training for a 10 miler is complicated. It is comprised of complex relationships that intricately work together.

 

After making the schedule and organizing my quotations, I must dedicate half an hour each day to finding excuses to avoid running and going off schedule. These excuses will primarily be inspired by injuries, a dream about getting an injury, or hearing a story about someone who died while running.

The amount of guilt I feel for not running will be inversely proportional to the severity of my concocted excuse.

Power of Excuses

The powerful-ness of the quotations will be directly proportional to the amount of guilt I feel for not running.

Quotations and Not Running Guilt

 

 

 

And lastly, I must factor in peer pressure. Two friends will be running the same 10 miler, and I’ve already told a handful of people I am training for a 10 miler. Luckily, the amount of guilt I feel for not running is not related to peer pressure in any way, or, x=0. See, one of the two friends is my boyfriend, and the running discussion is easy to have with him, because he has the attention span of a dalmation.

Him: Have you been training for the run?

Me: No.

Him: I’m hungry. What do you want to eat?

Him: We should eat before we watch the movie.

Him: The movie starts at 9, so we should go now. Let’s go now!

Him: But first, watch me play this song on Guitar Hero. Wait, no, we should go.

Him: Just one song.

 

The other friend is a female friend who absolutely loves running and has signed up for all sorts of other runs. So, we can safely assume she’s nutty.

 

The handful of people I’ve told probably don’t remember. So, check!

Guilt from Friends

Blog, there’s more. I have more to share with you.


Last night I saw Baby Mama, and it was so funny, blog. And guess what! Tina Fey was wearing a dress that I own! And she’s left handed too! See, blog, I had this whole plan when I met Tina to talk about how we’re both left handed, but I didn’t really know where to go from there. NOW, I can talk to her about how we have the same dress, but that she looks better in it than I do, of
course. Then, maybe she would say, “Well, I work out.”

And I would respond, “Oh me too! I’m training for a 10 miler.”

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