Well. I did it. Today, I cut my fingernails.
I know what you are thinking.
You are thinking, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
Well, listen, don’t worry. I only cut the nails on my left hand. The nails on my right hand remain impeccable, shaped to perfection.
Cutting was rash but necessary. David was teaching me to play the guitar (pronounced git-tarr), and my fingernails were interfering with the notes. So, the nails had to go.
Why was he even teaching me to play guitar? Well, I’m glad you asked. We were going to learn the duet “Anyone Else But You.” Why that song? Because David is the Juno to my Paulie Bleeker. Plus, the song seemed easy, and you can replace the words with anything you want, as long as you end each sentence by crooning, “Anyone else, buuuutttttt you, do dodo do dodo do.”