I’m back. I was gone for a while, and I owe you an explanation. Are you ready? Here it is: I uh…I….uh.
I thought about you blog, I did, and I crafted some entries, blog. They were compelling. One entry was about burgers; one entry was about the New Year and my plans to blog all day, every day. That’s about it. I never got around to actually publishing those two. I don’t even know where I saved the latter.
Actually, blog, maybe the entries weren’t good enough. Maybe I hold the entries I place in you to such high standards that I refuse, absolutely refuse, to post words that don’t invoke the kindness of the human spirit and stir feelings of emotional strength, while at the same time subtly recalling the works of William Shakespeare, Michael Crichton and Elizabeth Bishop.
Oooh, yeah. I like that explanation better.
Blog. Tormented by the standard set by all previous entries, I could not bring myself to post anything that was less than inspiring on you. Struggling between the capacity for greatness that I have effortlessly achieved in every other entry and a state of several-levels-above-mediocrity-but-still-not-positively-divine-like-the-usual-entries, I opted for silence.
I feel a lot better now that I have explained the truth behind my absence, blog. I’ve lifted the veil of dishonesty to reveal my true feelings about why I do and do not post in you. If you forgive me for not posting, I will forgive you for imposing such mental pressure to succeed on me.
Anyway! Hi Blog! I’m back! I’m going to post in you all the time! For realsies this time! I mean it, this year. It’s you and me, kiddo.